Chairman’s Business Networking Blog Thursday 13th February 2014.
20 members present including newly inducted member Alan Moller. Alan has visited the Billericay meeting on at least 3 occasions and took a leap in the dark and joined Brentwood, without having previously attended the meeting. He seemed to come through the experience unscathed.
Other visitors were Kevin Smith and Simon Baldock, visiting us again, both expressing the wish to join us. Gary Waskett from Anthony Batty might be renewing their membership so, all in all a good turnout both from the point of view of members and visitors.
The Ed Slot had a guest presentation from Nick Cooke who urged the importance of being focused over networking and conference events and accordingly being selective.
It was an interesting presentation but, from an interest point of view, what really attracted my attention were the jeans!! In my day we used to call them “buckets”. Given the wet weather I did not know whether the turnups were a permanent fashion statement or simply there to avoid the jeans getting wet when he waded through water on his structural surveys. The fact of the matter was, by the time he had finished his dissertation I was at my observant best and ready for anything that the 60 second round could throw at me, and this is what it threw…
Chris Sadler got us all in the mood with a photograph that is to be hung in a gallery depicting a young lady, seemingly naked sitting down in the corner of the room otherwise bereft of furniture. He then told of photographic sessions with glamour models and the modelling of lingerie…everyone else was now awake and listening and so it was with heightened alertness that we all focused on the rest of the round.
Mike Rogers has a new watch which enables him to stay under water for long periods of time. This rather smart looking diver’s watch will be useful when he goes paddling on his annual hols.
Alan Shaw has been involved with the design of different buildings recently. These include a listed farm house mentioned in the Domesday Book and a food processing plant near the Silver Town bridge. He had just finished describing these two different products when a look of puzzlement crossed his face and he declared there was something he was going to say but had forgotten what it was and promptly sat down. I invite you all to put suggestions as to how he could have finished his 60 seconds and place them anther comments column and I will try and persuade Scott to give extra points to the most inventive.
Our new member Allan Moller gave us a rundown of his qualifications and the areas that he covers and look forward to hearing from him with further presentations.
Dean Caldon showed how he went the extra mile with his client by describing occasions when he had helped them; one case was furniture removal and the other spraying a wall. I think it was the wall spraying that puzzled most of us. Danielle White of Redwood Clarke, who was presenting the Oscar, was obviously impressed and duly made the award to Dean.
The Bard of Hadleigh whilst flogging directors and office insurance managed a few rhyming couplets at the end of his presentation thus maintaining his poet laureate status.
Now Richard Reed always like a mention and always makes a fuss if does not get one so here goes…Richard Reed…
Kevin Brooks, anticipating his 10 minute presentation limited himself to a story about Polish tilers being harassed by a police helicopter and a full SWAT team as a result of entering one of the houses where Kevin was working without clearing it with the lady next door.
It was at this stage that we moved on to the slightly more whimsical and fanciful; Scott Griffiths limited himself to asking us to look out for kids active vouchers for him. He apparently turns these into tents for his scout troop.
Brian Painter told of a beauty salon proprietor who felt the need to carry out self sabotage, Sort of guerrilla warfare against her business. A couple of sessions with Brian and she was cured, I trust that does not mean that she now goes round trying to sabotage other people although it seems a shame just to abandon a well honed skill.
Michael Adelizzi further extended the bizarre by explaining about a lady who wanted a low level bath to be installed so that her “Dave” could get in and out of the bath. It transpires that “Dave” was not her husband, lover or even aged relative but a dog.
It was our resident accountant Paul Booth who pushed the boundaries likening himself to the “Shawshank Redemption” which according to him illustrates despair, hope and then a happy ending and this is apparently the experience you will get when you employ him to do your books. My own comparison would have been “Star Wars”. It could be used as an extended metaphor with the death star being H M Customs and Revenue in an imaginary planet far far away Paul Booth arrives in his Millennium Falcon and defeats evil, saves you hundreds or thousands of pounds of tax but only charges you at a level a Wooky could afford. My second invitation of this Blog is to think of a film that would suit other members of our group and tell us about it.
There had been a Synergy Team Meeting with the Finance Group during the week and Paul reported on this, others commented favourably upon the said meeting and despite the fact it was so good that I had stayed awake throughout I was still accused by certain members of dropping off if only for a few seconds. All I can say is that, for those that stood as my accusers, I can’t even remember that they were there!
I mentioned earlier that Kevin Brooks was the 10 minute presenter. He regaled us with various stories of historical breaches of Health and Safety as he took us though his early years up to the present date. It was all very cleverly done as it reminded us of what he did do and how good a builder he is. Many members have had experience of him and his workmen, all of whom were generous of their testimonials when we went through the referrals round. Kevin also managed to produce the saying of the meeting. Apparently “…brickwork doesn’t stand up on its own…” this sort of gave further comfort to us all in recommending him.
We moved seamlessly into the referrals and testimonials round, 21 referrals and just short of £8,000 worth of business recorded.
A hugely enjoyable meeting.
I hope by next week all teams will have started making inroads into their visitor invitations for the visitor’s breakfast on the 6th March 2014.
Hi Aidan – Great blog as usual . Your film review reminded me of an XMAS poem I wrote way back in 2010
Re CHRISTMAS RHYME – DEDICATED TO “THE A TEAM”
MY THEME THIS YEAR IS THE MOVIES – BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL STARS TO ME
BUT I WONDER WHAT FILM YOU WOULD BE IN, SIT BACK AND LET US SEE
FOR MYSELF IT’S JAMES BOND OF COURSE, DASHING CHARMING, AND CLEVER
AND FOR MY BOND GIRL, THE LOVELY MARCELLE, IN DIAMONDS ARE FOR EVER.
DEAR OLD BRIAN, THE LEADER OF THE PACK IS PLAYING TO HIS FRATERNITY
HE WILL IGNORE WHEN 8 BELLS TOLL, PREFERRING FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
DAVID & ALAN YOU MAY RECALL, SANG TO THE PILGRIM, A LOT
SO THEYRE CAST AS CURTIS AND LEMMON, IN THE FILM SOME LIKE IT HOT
STEVE, HAS HAD A STARRING ROLE AND HAS THE MOST EXPERIENCE BY FAR
THOUGH HE MAY HAVE SET THE TEMPERATURE WRONG AT THE ICE STATION ZEBRA
NICK WHILE SURVEYING YOUR PROPERTY WILL BE USING ALL HIS SKILL
I WONDER THOUGH IF HE WILL SURVIVE, THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
PAUL AS, THE ACCOUNTANT OF MONTE CHRISTO TRYING TO BREAK OUT
AND ADVENTUROUS SCOTT, AS BRUCE WILLIS, IN THE LAST BOY SCOUT
HOWARD BULLOCK AS TOM HANKS IN SAVINGS FOR PRIVATE RYAN
AND MIKE JOLLY ROGERS AS CAPTAIN JACK, IN PIRATES OF THE CARRIBE-AN
SUMMER HOLIDAY FOR RICHARD OR PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES
AND FOR KEVIN –THE NOT SO EASY RIDER AFTER ALL THOSE CYCLED MILES
AIDAN, WHOSE TALES OF LOU ROLLS, HE TOLD WITH SUCH EBULLIENCE
THE BERNARD BRESSLAW ROLE, IN CARRY ON AT YOUR CONVENIENCE
NEAL –THERE IS OF COURSE ANOTHER FAMOUS CARPENTER, BUT I GUESS YOU PROBABLY KNOW
THAT IM TALKING ABOUT OLD GUISEPPI WHO MADE PINOCHIO
IT’S THE ELECTRIC HORSEMAN FOR ADRIAN, AS HE LIGHTS UP LIKE A STAR
AND THE HORSE WOULD COME IN HANDY, NEXT TIME HE MISLAYS HIS CAR
TO KIM AND DAWN AND TINA AS THIS POEM TO ITS END HURLS
IVE CAST YOU AS MY FIESTY THREESOME IN THE FILM DREAM GIRLS
GILL’S A LATE ADDITION, AND TO EXCLUDE HER WOULD BE A DEFEAT
IF HER AIMS TO GET OUR NUMBERS UP IT‘LL NEED A MIRACLE ON 34th STREET
SO WITH THAT MY TRIBUTE TO YOU FINALLY ENDS
JUST TIME TO WISH MERRY CHRISTMAS- TO MY EBF FRIENDS
Dedicated to those members no longer with us
I may have to do a sequel
Sounds like I missed an interesting and lively meeting.
How about ” The Terminator” for me ??
Congratulations to Kevin Radford for being the first one to mention Christmas in 2014!!!
oops ,sorry Howard I should have edited. I really curse the first person to mention the “C” word – its normally Scott ! I will have to think up a suitable punishment for myself ,like how many Bourban biscuits can I stuff in my mouth before I start to choke or before Mrs R catches me
Aidan you b _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Alan was going to advise on how to save water by putting a brick in the systern but then remembered that we were ok for water at the moment EVERYWHERE.
Forget it for the “films for members” task as Kevin Radford (he of far too much spare time) has already nailed it with his repeat from Christmas – it can’t be topped (tho’ this may become a challenge in itself).
Michael managed to get a laugh by re-telling the story of Dave, and not only from our visitors.
An excellent 10 mts from Kevin Brooks, such a great advocate of the right way to work – professional, thorough and “clean as you go” till the job is done – to round off a good meeting.
Now that’s got me thinking about “Secret Santa” and the Christmas quiz!
I would like to know why Kevin is talking to that teapot. Great meeting and good to see some visitors. Welcome on board Alan to the good ship EBF.
Excellent meeting. 1 new member and 3 more guests. Looking forward to the visitor day.
Once upon a time there 3 balloons, mummy balloon, daddy balloon, and baby balloon.
Tired of baby balloon creeping into their bed every night, “Tonight you must stay in your own bed” said mummy.
When he was sure his mummy and daddy were asleep baby balloon crept into their room and tried to squeeze into their bed.
But try as he might he just couldn’t fit in, so he undid the bottom of his mummy and let tiny bit air out of her. But to his dismay he still couldn’t fit in, so he crept round to his daddy’s side of the bed and undid his daddy’s knot and let a little bit of air out. Again he tried to squeeze in but still couldn’t quite fit. So he undid himself and let a little bit of air out. Then he fitted in nice and snuggly and fell sound asleep.
When his mum woke up she was furious!
“Get into your own room at once and think on what you have done young man!” she shouted, “I am so disappointed in you! Not only have you let me down and your father down, you’ve let yourself down too!”
David, that really was good, Batman is the film for you and you have my vote for the Joker