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When writing content for your website it is important to remember some important points about the content that you are creating. I have compiled the list below for you to use as a checklist:
- Avoid Alliteration, always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with
- Avoid clichés like the plague (they are old hat)
- Employ the vernacular
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive
- Contractions aren’t necessary
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos
- One should never generalise
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations, tell me what you know”
- Comparisons are as bad as clichés
- Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous
- Profanity sucks
- Be more or less specific
- Understatement is always best
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake
- The passive voice is to be avoided
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
I hope that this list helps you to improve your writing. Hopefully by now you have realised that it is of course just a prank. If you’d like assistance with writing effective and attractive content for your website then we can help you with this – in a professional and affordable way – please contact us for help.