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Chairman’s Blog – Meeting Thursday 19th April 2012
Great attendance – most members arriving prior to 6.30 a.m. 30 members in attendance and 2 guests, Victoria Mason from Essex County Council who was back to do her 10 minute guest slot and Mike Topping from A Plus Security Limited who arrived just after me at 5.50 a.m. and remained enthusiastic throughout the meeting – he has threatened to come along a join next week and he gives all the appearance of being potentially a very useful member of our ever expanding group.
As if to remind us that everything doesn’t always go well, the lights went out at 6.50 a.m. – was the devil himself going to attend the meeting and apply for membership? Alas no, the lights came back on again and we carried on as normal……… or did we!
We had the pleasurable obligation today to induct Claire Greenslade as our most recent new member. Joan Jaggernauth also claimed that she had never been inducted so she also received what amounted to a late baptism.
This week’s 60 second round lived up to what should be its billing as “the funniest show in town”.
Claire Greenslade opened up with showing us a series of teddy bears that she claimed would be both good “ice breakers” and, at least as far as the smallest bear with a magnet was concerned, very useful to be stuck on the tool box of all of our “butch” members who carry tool boxes round all the time. I must warn her that a Barbie doll would be a step too far!!
John Bird claims that he has made Chris Smythe very happy and Adrian talked about trivial circuits which is possibly another way of describing the 60 second round.
We then became hung up on lists. It all started with our Poet Lauriate, Kevin Radford, who tried to make a list of all of the insurance that he had placed over the last week into a thing of poetic beauty. Richard Reed told us of all the offers that he had on this week and Terry Maylin listed Clients that he had acted for this week. Even David Plumley gave us a list of all the things that he does. There are clearly some members here who think that we are actually interested in what you did last week….. Oh! Probably we should be!! Geoff Todd, encouraged by his mention in last weeks blog, tried to sell us containers that you put something smelly into – one step too far Geoff.
Suddenly the momentum picked up. Graham Thurston resorted to verse for the first time and before we knew it Joan Juggernauth was on her feet. This week is was the letter “C”. She then went on to get us all to put our hands together or rather fingertips together. It was mesmeric, it was hypnotic and not only do I have no idea what this had to do with the letter “C”, but she took 90 seconds to do it. This proved to be something of a build up to what I thought would be the main act of the session. Our pilgrim hypnotherapist, Brian Painter, did not disappoint. His 60 seconds was redolent with flatulence, bowel movement, irritable bowel syndrome, all as a result of unresolved anxiety. Who says jokes about farts don’t get laughs? We moved then to Scott Griffiths and from bowel movements to hand and foot movements. Not only was it strange that Scott asked us to move our feet first and then our hands separately, but it was equally surprising that we all did it. Any thought I had of getting to people to laugh at Louis Rolls naming a toilet roll after yet another person was ended before it began…. and so it was with the 60 second round.
Our group strength is that it can enjoy itself and yet address serious matters surrounding the development of our respective businesses and so it was with the 10 minutes delivered by Victoria Mason who produced a very useful explanation of her position with Essex County Council and incredibly useful information about opportunities in the field of business development. We will be pleased to welcome her back at some time in the future as we develop our relationship with her.
This then led into the referrals and testimonials round. Howard Bullock appeared from no where. Geoff Todd claimed that he got wet in Marcelle’s garden; those who are members reading this will realise that he is a gardener and therefore had good reason to be there. Jason once again explained to us that he was blushing. He seems to feel that this is necessary; don’t worry Jason embarrassment can be demonstrated in a host of ways. The highlight of the referrals round, however, I felt was a David Plumley quotation “you don’t know what you don’t know…” I had a vision of American servicemen training at West Point, running in step and chanting the self same words. Don’t, however, let me give you the impression that the referrals and testimonial round was anything other than its usual useful and relevant self. Lots of referrals passed – close to £10,000.00 worth of business posted.
It only remains for me to repeat one of the announcements. Not our rule, but the rule of the Golf Club, that jeans and, indeed when the warmer weather comes, shorts are not permitted in the area of the Clubhouse that we use. So if all members could ensure that they do come to meetings attired in a way that will not give offence to our hosts.
I look forward to seeing you all again next week and may I once again leave you with ….“may all your mornings be Thursday mornings”.