Chairman’s Business Networking Blog Tuesday 15th April 2014
If this wasn’t the best meeting to date of our relatively newly formed group I can’t remember which one was.
It all started inauspiciously when most of us found ourselves scraping the ice from the wind screens of our cars before setting off for our weekly Tuesday adventure.
Our Door Monitors, Fred Harcourt and Richard Willis were promptitude personified.
Our numbers were exemplary- 19 members present including Billy Foxwell standing in for the absence Hugo Heij. This was a good example of the effective use of substitutes.
We had 2 visitors making up a total of 21 in all; Tina Walker of Liberty Executive Services from the Brentwood Group and Kieran Sweeney from Utility Warehouse, appearing after two previous visits before Christmas and much cajoling from Jim Henshaw.
We received apologies for absence from Scott Griffiths, Peter Hall, Vivienne Nwalema, who managed to make contact with Nige Kirby when she woke up at 6.30am and Iain Douglas who had retreated back over the border.
Not only were we therefore a full compliment with properly excused non-attendees from the members but David Dumbell, Dean Smith and Kieran Sweeney submitted applications to join, which applications I can by sneak preview reveal were approved by the committee immediately after the meeting.
And to cap it all, not only therefore did we get off to the best possible start but there was an also an induction for our new member Chris Adams to celebrated.
It then got better…
As the sun flooded into the meeting room from a clear blue sky, Nige Kirby, resplendent in tee shirt and shorts regaled the multitude in his Ed Slot with how to deliver your 60 seconds and 10 minute presentations. Decent breaths, don’t mumble, and smile!!! We all duly smiled and indeed, the way the meeting was going we had something to smile about.
I think this is an appropriate time to report and acknowledge Nigel’s brave attempt to lose weight will attract lots of sponsorship, all of which will go to Little Havens. What we must have however, by next week, are the full details of his weight so that over the coming weeks his weight loss can be properly monitored.
We look forward to watching the pounds disappear. As the wight drops off him, it is too much to expect a rather tightly green Lycra clad plumber showing off his weight loss…and more. This is a section of the Blog you may comment on if you wish, but your reluctance to do so would be understandable.
The 60 second round, but for one or two exceptions, would have simply been a good straightforward session where we all demonstrated the techniques that Nige had recommended. I definitely spotted people taking deep breaths; delivery was clear and to a man everyone was in time and smiling.
Robert Mayes wants to knock down walls; Fred Harcourt wants us to banish our “internal muppet”. Jim Henshaw thinks a trust is like a money box. Ian Nicholson has found somebody else who thought they had £50,000 and yet appeared to have investments that should be valued with an extra nought (where does he find them!!). David Dumbell has photographed Harriet Harman, I am afraid it would have needed to be one of those “Art House” shoots to get me interested on that one.
The above is a flavour of the upbeat messages that came from the room and everyone was smiling… that is until Brian Painter rose to his feet. Once again it was a case study. We always feel sympathy for the client’s problems that he introduces to us but rest safe in the knowledge they always have happy endings. The lady in question had never had an orgasm… smiles were turning to smirks… and apparently she had the physical attributes to achieve this heightened level of bliss including a husband. Heart warmingly, after a couple of sessions with our worldly Hypnotherapist she subsequently found herself transported with carnal raptures that led her to provide Brian with the ultimate accolade, a WHOW, WHOW,WHOW! Was this a prelude to words of praise or was it the orgasmic equivalent of a smile. After this performance the smiles, that had turned to smirks, were finally turned to uncontrollable laughter. For those who followed Brian, just the mention of any facet of the sexual act was enough to have us all rolling in the aisles. It is probably right that we should take comfort in the fact that Brian will regale us next week with something to do with smoking, just to create some sort of balance in the natural world.
Chris Adams had the job of awarding the Oscar and it is fair to say that the main criteria for making such a choice should not be the extent to which any one member had us laughing uncontrollably. That he bravely awarded it to Iain Martin for his spare room ideas showed wisdom beyond his time as a member. It would be a dangerous precedent to award an Oscar to a man who can, through the mysteries of Hypnotherapy, give hours of rapture to the female of the species. It is some different sort of award that is needed. If you want to make suggestions as to what Brian deserved for his efforts no doubt you will add them to this Blog.
Talking of Iain Martin, it was his 10 minute slot and once again the meeting just went from good to better. He produced a very confident performance using the technology we would expect for a man who can change our lives if we have the imagination and the money. What shone through was his enthusiasm. If we hadn’t suspected before, we knew after the 10 minutes that he could be recommended without hesitation to anyone we find in need of his services. He also showed how the 10 minutes can be effectively used to educate the group as to exactly what you do. Take the opportunity when you can get to fill this slot!!
The rest of the meeting passed in good humour, if not to say merriment. Referrals are starting to come and money is being recorded.
It simply leaves me to report 2 things:
1. Iain Martin’s technology has the ability to create a “bat cave” and without achieving the results that Brian described of his client this week Christine was pretty excited by the prospect
2. On a more serious but uplifting note, in the Committee Meeting that followed not only were our new members duly approved but the Synergy Team movement was seen to gather momentum. Christine and Nigel laid the basis for setting up the first meetings of the Business to Business and Trades Synergy Teams respectively and Jim Henshaw is ready to pounce with a date for the Finance Group who has also agreed a venue. May would seem to be the time when we will set our synergy teams in motion, good luck to everyone on that.
Finally I would like to express a hope, namely that next week we have as good a meeting, as humorous a meeting and as effective a meeting as we had this week and if we do not quite make it, it could still be an excellent Tuesday.
Very good meeting, a lot of friendly humour, networking doesn’t have to be boring, you can have fun and still do business.
Next week I might talk about organisms!
Come back ,Scott, before I turn in to a geek!
What a great meeting the same banter as the Brentwood Group.
Super meeting with Brian’s orgasmic offering waking us all up….although Christine’s enthusiasm for Batcaves and costumes did come a close second! On a serious note Iain’s presentation was superb and gave me plenty of ideas as to how to refer to him. Have a great week all.
…………and I thought Casanova was best. Brian does it with no hands!
the bat cave… i dont think i’ll ever look at my spare room in the same way again. :)))))))))) looking forward to next week!
Best meeting to date. I enjoyed my 10mins and look forward to my next opportunity. Thanks to all again for your kind comments.
Christine – We can start drawing up the plans for your spare room conversion!!