This weeks blog expertly written by Vincent Goode
25 early risers were in attendance this morning, and Aidan was adopting a dress down Thursday policy, because of his wife’s birthday. Not entirely convinced this was a valid excuse, but he also passed the blog writing to me, so he must be busy doing something with Mrs Squire later today.
A noticeable absence was Paul Dulieu who is in the Congo setting up the new branch of EBF – that’s the Eritrean Business Forum.
The Performance League
Top of the leader-board with 348 points is still Matty Barry who is proving to be the go-to-guy to have a 1-2-1 with.
Saj Sreedharan delivered the Education Slot this morning. By coincidence, he was pontificating on the benefits of regular 1-2-1’s with fellow members. To amplify this, we now have 1-2-1 information sheets available on the members’ section of the EBF website.
The 60 Second Round
The 60 second round kicked off with Matt Barry telling us how much he loves rugby. He loves it so much he wants an introduction to a rugby club. Any rugby club will do, so that he can tell them how much he loves rugby.
Ellen Beckenham is feeling needy. She needs introductions to contractors, architects and structural engineers. It is a long list, so please find her an introduction to anyone who likes a bit of asbestos.
Marcelle Saad told us of a man who had lost a big diamond from his wife’s ring. Definitely his fault, not hers, it seems. But wherever the blame lies, Marcelle can replace it with a shiny new stone.
Toby Acton was sporting his new botoxed lips, forehead and neck. Once he has made us all into wealthy bastards, TOWIE will be calling him imminently.
Anna-Marie Cooper encouraged us to Google our own image. If you’re horrified with what you find, go see Anna-Marie and for a small fee she will photograph you and make you look beautiful. Most of the members will probably need a bit of Photoshopping to achieve this.
Kieron Peaty was sporting his new-dad haggard, tired and sleepless look. He thinks he is still an architect, if being an architect involves changing nappies at 4 in the morning.
Ben Ben Golding announced there is only 48 hours left to take advantage of the Utility Warehouse January promotion. By the time you read this it will probably be too late. You snooze, you lose…
Richard Reed is offering some amazing deals to Orlando. However, the discounts only take effect if you pay to take him with you.
Terry Maylin is looking for employers who want to get rid of their staff. And employees who no longer want to work for their employers. There won’t be anyone left at this rate.
Simon Essex is looking for flexible graduates. Assuming they can touch their toes, they should be fine.
Stuart Smallcombe warned us to beware of mobile deals offering unlimited data packages. This can result in very slow internet, which isn’t very useful for certain specialist websites. So I’m told…
Tina Walker can help organise your invoices. Just drop off your Sainsbury’s (other supermarkets are available) bags of paperwork and she will return them, sorted and typed up on a spreadsheet.
Mason Edwards enjoyed his breakfast, because he tells us he’s full of beans. He is looking for estate agents who traditionally have filthy carpets.
John Freeman helps property owners to get their properties in a condition ready to put on the market.
Dean Caldon is happy to offer a 24 hour flexible service. Phone him at 3am to discuss your property – he would really like that. His flexibility earned him the Oscar from Matt.
Scott Griffiths is looking for small clients. Under 5 foot tall would be perfect.
Ford Astbury is advising us to save money eating out at restaurants, his solution is to supply and fit a shiny new kitchen
Vincent Goode illustrated that you should print your mailers and flyers on both sides, so that they don’t land on the doormat blank side up. Richard Reed got very excited at a thick laminated flyer sample and started rubbing himself with it. Which goes to prove how sexy printing can be.
Brian Painter used the Three Stooges from the naughty corner to read out some of his client testimonials. They kind of took over proceedings, but the main message was, if you want to give up smoking, Brian’s your man.
Alan Moller’s quest for a turd is over. It can be found in Romford. Bish bash bosh, job’s a good’un.
Paul Booth was sporting his new beard. He’s gone for the James Robertson Justice look. Google it.
10-minute presentation by Ben, Ben Golding
Ben Ben Golding gave us a very lively presentation which included a competitive game of Ben Ben’s Bingo. Kieron managed to stay awake to get the first line. Brian got the full house and won a piggy. That’s dinner sorted.
Any other business…
Brian reminded us about the upcoming Jack The Ripper tour. Vincent warned us that the Ripper was never apprehended, so he could still be out there. This prompted Aiden to advise us that JTR’s victims were all disembowelled. Spoiler alert…
Ben-Ben was brilliant today. Well done that man!
Loved the bingo, reminded me of the blue rinse brigade that I hung about with in the 90’s. Monty Python sketch for those old enough. Great meeting and Ben did a great presentation. See you all next week after England beat Ireland in the rugby.
Ben Ben was brilliant today, so much so, the blog reflects with a double mention 😜
Great meeting as per, see you all next week 😁
Thanks for spotting that John! I’ve corrected this now and added the Jack the Ripper Info. Not Vinces fault but mine!
Bingo Ben! good meeting – January has certainly had a buzz about it
i’ve said it all in the blog. Have a lovely Thursday chaps and chapesses x
Well done Ben, luckily i didn’t win another pig!! Great meeting keep up the excellent turnout as it makes all the difference. Well done Matt on winning January performance league.
Lovely meeting, lovely 10 mins, lovely blog – what more can I say?
Oh – I loved the Bengo Bin, …or was it Bingo Ben?
Well done to Bingo Ben Ben on his presentation absolutely fantastic indeed.
Very good meeting with plenty of positive vibes.
Great meeting with a very good feel about it, especialy from Vince who got a bit touchy feely…
As for the need to take me with you that only applies to one or two of you and, no Vince, not you!!.
Well done with the Bingo presentation format Ben.
Looks like I missed out on Ben Ben Bingo!! Sorry I couldn’t be there for the whole meeting, but the part I was there for was great and agree very positive mood this week, have a lovely weekend 🙂
Well done Ben for your 10 minutes presentation/bingo I was only waiting for the mini to be shouted out LOL. Another great meeting too. Have great weekend see you all next week.
Sorry I had to miss your 10 minute presentation Ben. Sounds like it was a goodun. Amusing blog from the Mayor of Gants Hill. All being well, I will be there next week. Not Gants Hill. EBF.
the best blog i’ve seen today, despite the spelling and grammar mistakes. I loved Ben Ben bingo!
Great meeting and a pretty damn good blog to reflect it. Loved the bingo Ben Ben!
Vincent, you can now be regarded as a serious blogster
Such a good meeting, so glad you enjoyed the Bingo!! 😀🐷😀
Well done Ben . Great 10mins had the pleasure this week signing up . See you all next week. My kitchen supplier is interested in being a guest 🙂
I enjoyed Big Ben Ben’s Brexit bingo blast! An entertaining blog, Vincent, written in the style of the Master. Not sure about the Oscar winner.
Great meeting . Ben’s bingo was a brilliant use of his 10 minute slot.