It was only starting to get light at 7am but at least we did not have to scrape any ice off our windscreens. When the meeting kicked off it was clear that our Education and Development Officer had started his sojourn in a South American country beginning with C. I accordingly had the pleasure of multi-tasking his role.
My first bit of multi-tasking was I introducing Paul Booth. His theme was snakes and ladders. His extended metaphor for the ups and downs of running a business involved taking advantage of the ladders and being stoic when we come to the snakes. His ultimate message is, keep up your spirits and keep rolling the dice. What we must all remember is that snakes and ladders is a board game and not a game for the bored.
The 60 Second Round
In the absence of last week’s Oscar Winner, Mason Edwards, Jill Willis stepped up to the plate and reprised her role of judicator that she discharged so well last week.
Kieran Peaty has his eyes on the winning the RIBA Sterling prize and therefore looking for houses to design. This years winner’s building reduced the utility bills for its social housing inhabitants to £150.00 per annum. The bar seems to be set fairly high.
Richard Reed warned of the risk of going on a cruise ship on its maiden voyage. Prices and expectations are high and the chances of something going wrong is apparently high, like a failure in their sewage disposal systems; it’s enough to make your eyes water!!
Matt Barry is into branding. Branding’s origin is in hot metal designs on the back sides of cows, now there’s a retro suggestion Matt.
Having created an animal theme this leads me into Toby Acton’s theme. He is looking for hamsters, business men who are on the wheel of stress and which he will help them get off. What with Paul Booth and the snakes and ladders sewage disposal systems on a cruise liner going wrong and Matt Barry’s branding, by this time we had been treated to a rich array of imagery. It continued with Terry Marylin’s offering, he managed this week to produce a letter of claim to various debtors that worked like a laxative. It all seemed to be reverting to the late lamented School of Whimsey.
Simon Essex brought us back down to earth by describing how he had schooled a candidate so well that he got the job he was applying for the whole thing was put into context when the candidate’s profuse thanks were somewhat tempered by said candidate addressing him as “Steve” and so Simon became Steve for the meeting, and indeed might continue to be called Steve in future meetings. Watch this space.
John Freeman told of winning the heart of a client by making sure that he properly prepared the wall before painting and not painting it over the existing wall paper. If refusing to paper over the cracks produces such adulation what about the appropriately named Brian Painter’s lady who was terrified of dogs. It all stemmed from an incident involving ice-cream when she was a 4 year old. A dog grabbed it and instilled the fear. Brian has high hopes that she will be a dog owner in a couple of weeks.
It was Ben Golding who finally mentioned Christmas….. cards and gifts the cost of which all can be mitigated by Utility Warehouse and their cash back schemes.
Tina Walker stuck up a drawing of cogs on one of the windows illustrating how she can help overworked business owners.
Scott Griffiths has been helping promote an ice cream vendor. With the name of Piccadilly Whip I kept to myself the likely connections with the porn industry but unfortunately Howard Bullock blew the impact of this by mentioning it in the referrals round. Howard Bullock however was not to be denied! His 60 seconds talking about a lady who had worked all hours developing her kennel business which she finally sold for a million. He managed to persuade her to think about taking the benefits herself ahead of the demands of her children and for such he was rewarded with the Oscar. If you come across children putting the bank of mum and dad under pressure for money, send them to Howard.
Other 60 second offerings gave us interesting insights; the first insight was from Ford Asprey. When carrying out building work on properties that have restricted parking he frequently incurs substantial thanks to the local traffic wardens. He is now making it as part of his contracts that any such fines are payable by the building owner as part of the cost of his carrying out the work… seemed sensible to all of us.
Paul Booth continued with an historical insight by explaining how 15 to 20 years ago his clients brought their documentation in a carrier bag to him so that he could prepare their accounts. This moved to box files and now its software. He still gets the paperwork occasionally in a plastic bag but he simply scans the documentation and then lets his software go to work. They don’t know they’ve been born…
Saj Sreedharan was revelatory over the upcoming Halloween celebrations, pumpkins with flowers in them, What will they think of next!!
An interesting and informative round.
This weeks statistics and points of note
25 Members present
1 Visitor in attendance
£10,000.00 worth of business written
Howard Bullock Oscar Winner
10-minute presentation by Mike Rogers
It was Mike Rogers at his sardonic best with a mesmerising array of statistics demonstrating why he will save his clients and consequently the country millions; it will all lead to a knighthood initially thereafter his elevation to the House of Lords. Apparently its all to do with insurance companies and their borrowers all being cuddly. Possibly his best.