Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 1st December 2016.
23 Members present and a very cold morning.
The Education Slot was taken by Terry Maylin, his talk was very much focused on channels of communication. The meeting is for the benefit of the members and he explained the importance of airing issues; in particular if a member feels that another member has not performed well. The first reaction must be to try and resolve it directly. What Terry went on to point out is that there is a committee available through their chairman Richard Reed to receive any concerns that cannot be resolved in this way. He also he announced the appointment of Kevin Radford who will hereafter assume the role of “Human Suggestion Box”. Members are welcome to contact him to pass on any suggestions or concerns about EBF generally and hopefully with any positive suggestions for improvement. The more input from members the better.
As it is the first Thursday of December Scott Griffiths was able to announce the Performance League results for November. He announced himself as the clear winner in a rather embarrassed way. No need for embarrassment Scott, we should all be embarrassed that we are not able to match you and that is the challenge for us as members for the short month of December.
The 60 second round followed and there were lots of good contributions.
Marcelle Saad explained about Tanzanite; not only is it from Tanzania but it is a thousand times rarer than diamonds. This must cast doubt as whether diamonds are in fact a girl’s best friend.
There weren’t too many props used by members but the ones that were used were notable. Nikhil Shah produced a selection of teeth and a brace which he managed to drop on the floor. He adopted his usual procedure when such braces are dropped on the floor, he spat on it and he cleaned it with a handkerchief or did he adopt the 10 second rule, I can’t really remember. Anyway, the various sets of teeth that he produced seemed to assume a grin.
Now Richard Reed has been to Marrakesh!!! Four days of last week he was sampling the attractions of the Souk and also a zip-wire experience. He looked tired.
In the meantime Michael Adelizzi was looking particularly to have shop sales, particularly sanitary ware. His extra sized toilets that are the speciality of the House of Thrones deserve to be viewed and indeed purchased. A great Christmas gift for everyone, not just the incontinent.
As Christmas approaches it is a time of stress for lots of us and Nick Cooke was no exception. The stress in this case however was brought about by an undersized steel beam which the building inspector declared to be the wrong size and the builder who declared that he had not read the plans carefully enough. Although slightly bizarre there was nothing whimsical about his contribution this week but Alan Shaw more than made up for it. He started off by following up Nick Cooke’s offering by continuing with the reference to steel beams. He then moved towards an old client of his whose property had burnt down and who was saddened by having a new development site. He continued in an erratic way that would have more than graced a Ramblers Association.
As we delved into the 60 second round further whimsical wonders, often associated with the Christmas period, emerged. Stuart Smallcombe talked of “number portability”. Apparently you can sit in Brentwood with both a foreign and a London number ringing on your desk, wondrous. This former occupant of the Naughty Table who had moved for this week, sort of out Whimsyed the Whimsy’s. Brian Painter produced nothing Whimsical at all. He stuck with smokers, cancer and death.
Scott Griffiths spoke of E-Cards for Christmas. It was getting all too festive. Jill Willis went one stage further, she talked New Year’s resolutions including aims and objectives by business owners to be considered and made clear.
Terry Maylin maintained the Christmas Spirit by explaining how it can be a busy time for us employment lawyers as employers try to shed staff before Christmas to avoid paying the Christmas or New Year bonus.
Howard Bullock declared himself “eye candy” as well as a careful IFA. I think we should all consider what particular type of candy we consider Howard Bullock to be. Is it a gob stopper or a sherbet lemon, your suggestions in the comments section of this Blog please.
After Nikhil Shah, the other member who produced props was Jo Eastwood. Hers were tempting alcoholic gifts for all of us to consider for our loved ones. Her Christmassy message with these supporting props earnt her the Oscar.
So at the end of the 60 second round we had the Meeting Secretary’s Report. He was able to confirm £11,250.00 worth of business recorded and 26 referrals which is excellent and which led to an excellent referrals and testimonials round. However before the referrals round our ten minute speaker, who managed to get prepared and up to speed in a couple of days, none other than our Pilgrim entertained who duly regaled us… and indeed felt he was doing so well that if it was worth taking 10 minutes to address us, he might as well take 20 minutes.
His theme was Past Life Regression. He made the interesting assertion that in some parts of the world birth marks are the sign of a violent death in a previous life and that young children were able to demonstrate this most readily. Presumably because they are closer to having been being born and therefore closer to the event that caused their demise in a previous life. May I repeat the invitation I previously made in the meeting for you all to fully examine yourselves and own up as to whether you have any birth marks and therefore the potential of an earlier life of someone who suffered a violet death. Also if you happen to have an ideas of what that violent death was, please let us know.
So December has another 2 meetings and we have a lot to look forward to. There is a guest speaker next week who will be addressing us upon the grants open to the SME’s based on carbon saving schemes. Who knows there might be a grant out there for you!!
The following week is the last meeting before Christmas and of course is the Brian Painter experience. Lets have a good turnout for both of these meetings.
I was trying to think of a group noun for the collected EBF members … maybe, “a wonderfulness of EBFers” … unless someone has a better one?
Well done all for braving the frost, good meeting and some good biz passed. let’s keep it up. enjoyed Brian’s 30 minutes too. Have a good weekend.
Before I was obliged to sit down I was about to mention that about the time Sebastian (the prawn} knocked on Christian’s door and said “it’s me, Sebastian, I’ve seen the cod, I’m a prawn again, Christian” Glenn Hoddle became a born again Christian. See the very subtle connection? See y’all next week.
Sorry to miss the meeting again – I’ll be there next week with my Christmas jumper!
An erudite, amusing and indeed a well crafted lucubration (yes others might need to look it up) as always Aidan. But so true …… Nick
PS Yes I have used that long word before.
Great to be back for another, as always, excellent mtg. I have checked for birthmarks but have to declare myself perfect so, apparently, I’m having yet another charmed life.
PS:Aidan, I’m not sure that your choice of candies are really appropriate.
PPS: somewhere amongst Brian’s 20mts there were actually some interesting bits.
Well done Brian in stepping up at the very last moment. No birth marks that I can see. Xmas jumper ready for Thursday.
excellent turnout well done all interesting 20 minutes from Brian!
Well done Brian. I told the “prawn again” joke to Lily who responded with a blank stare!
A great meeting – feeling rather festive now and looking forward to toasting a succesful EBF 2016 at our night out!!!!
An enjoyable sojourn at EBF -as usual. I had a feeling of deja vu when Brian was talking about regression. Spooky eh?