Rude UK Place Names from our Nationwide Sameday Courier – Ed Crocker

Spurred on by Top Gear’s Research Lab in Penistone (Yorks), please Bare (Lancs) with me but these are all genuine names.

Deliveries to Rude Towns:

You have to Pity Me (Durham) for putting this together but it is a Nasty (Bucks) job and some Nob End (South Lanarkshire) had to do it.

Sometimes you double check the address when it says A Cocks Green (Birmingham) or Assloss (Ayrshire).   Now  I am not Mucking (Essex) about here but East Breast (Inverclyde) is not were you expect to go, and Bushy Bottom (W Sussex) sounds like a disease, still it could be worse you could have a Fan Y Big (Breacon) collection or a Cock Play (Northumberland)!

(Red Flag)

Some of these names can even be used to form a sentence even if a bit rude.

It makes you wonder, the other day I was sitting in the sunshine looking at some Wide Open (Cornwall)  Great Butts (Sussex) and I couldn’t help notice a Crapstone (Lancs) in there, I bet that left some unfortunate Staines (Middx) on someones’ Brown Willy (Cornwall)

So I wondered if maybe there was another more unfortunate town or village that might slip off the Tongue (Somerset). It was at that moment that I heard someone shout Titty Ho (Hants) as a half naked lady rode by (There’s a red flag here)  I couldn’t help notice her Thong (Kent) as she seemed to Flash Bottom (Staffs).

I blame Top Gear for this, and since I am heavily influenced by Top Gear, moving swiftly on its a good job we don’t live in Austria as there are worse names there than these,  that I won’t repeat ever!

Ed Crocker
“Nationwide Sameday Couriers – Sameday Anyday”