Guest Blog post, written by the Mayor of Gants Hill Village, Vince Goode.
Thursday 17th May was a lovely sunny morning, however not only were we deficient by at least 14 members, but the entire leadership team were replaced, as if by osmosis, by exact replicas. These imposters, although clearly a much more handsome lot than the usual fodder, consisted of Paul Booth at right back, Terry Maylin at left back, and Brian Painter playing the Franz Beckenbauer sweeper role.
We did benefit however from 3 shiny visitors, who certainly brought a bit of glamour to the table.
The naughty corner was also depleted this week, but the two-man naughty combo of Dean Caldon and Howard Bullock, more than compensated for their friends’ absence, by talking amongst themselves and generally misbehaving. We wouldn’t want them any other way.
Vying for position at the top of the league, and within touching distance of a Champions League spot, are Saj Sreedharan in 3rd place, Matt Berry in 2nd, and currently sitting smugly at the top, Paul Booth.
This week’s presenter was Alan Shaw, who told us something about houses. If anyone present can expand on this, please comment below. We all felt strangely educated after this though…
The 60 Second Round
We were instructed that this week we all had to tell a bad joke as part of our minute. So Mike Rogers duly kicked off the proceedings by informing us that the Post Office are now selling new mortgage products. I didn’t get the punchline, but it was a hilarious start, which really set the tone.
Vincent Goode told us that although you spend your life trying to be popular, the number of people present at your funeral will be largely dependent on the weather. Referring to his printed order of service booklets, he finished with his very catchy memory hook “if you’re gonna die, I’m your guy”.
Alan Shaw told us that he was sitting in a bar when a giraffe walked in saying “the high balls are on me!” Not great, but at least we finally got a joke.
Jo Eastwood didn’t have a joke prepared, but told us she would like to share Alan Shaw’s offering.
Saj Sreedharan posed the question “what’s a pirate’s favourite cheese?” “Cheddaaaarrrr!”
John Hammond reminded us what the cheese said when it looked in the mirror. “Halloumi”
Brian Painter spoke about claustrophobia. It certainly feels like you’re in broom cupboard when having a conversation with Brian (I was told to say that). His joke concerned a ham sandwich walking into a bar. “I’m sorry we don’t serve food”.
Graphic Designer Matt Barry said “I’m very font of you, you’re just my type”. Not sure if that was justified (Matt will understand that).
John Freeman likes the easy peasy jobs. In fact, he said he would like to pop into you on the way home for a quick one.
Paul Booth was in Brentwood High Street on Saturday. There was a TV for sale in the window for £1, although the volume button was stuck on loud. Paul said: “I can’t turn that one down”.
Judging by the quality on display this morning, it was clear there would be only one winner, and last week’s champion Ben Golding, duly awarded the Oscar deservedly to Vincent Goode.
This weeks statistics and points of note
- 18 members present
- 3 visitors
- 11 referrals
- £7300.00 worth of business recorded
- 1st 2 weeks of May, 47 referrals and £41.045 business passed
10 minute presentation
Due to a technical problem, Kelly Walker’s presentation has been pushed forward to next Thursday. Instead we enjoyed a lively Q & A session. Although I think this would have been much more challenging as an A & Q session.
Referrals & Testimonials
Despite the low attendance, plenty of business was passed between the members. As Ben Golding is off on holiday next week, it was decided that Piggy should go into kennels. We have found the perfect place: THE HOLIDAY HOME FOR PET PIES LIMITED.
Who’s this imposter – Matt Berry?
A pleasant meeting and great to see visitors again, looking forward to the synergy meeting on Monday evening. THE BEST JOKE WAS THE ONE FROM DEAN 😂
Two parrots in their cage sitting on a perch. One says to the other “Can you smell fish?”
Depleted on numbers a little this week but still a bright meeting. Looking forward to the return of our visitors.
I hope the A team are back soon , that was hard work! See you all back next week…
It was hard work for us too, Mr M…
Very goode, Vincent. The job’s yours!
Glad the meeting went well and three visitors – back from sunny spain see you all next week.
Sounds like you all had fun! Vincent well done on the blog thoroughly enjoyed reading it, apologies will be missing next week due to half term, looking forward to seeing if Terry can outshine Vincent in the blog writing 😉
Well done on the blog Vince! See everyone next week.
Although a brilliant blog I must take umbrage with Vince’s comments above. I have it on good authority from myself that for at least some of the time, I listen to every third word spoken by almost half of the people in the room!
I’m not asking for thanks, glory or accolade. I too humble for such attentions!
Good meeting everyone.
Fantastic blog Vince and another great meeting. The cunning plan in making the normal leadership team look brilliant (which of course they are) worked a treat.