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Chairman’s Business Networking Blog Thursday 24th April 2014.
A timely reminder by the Meeting Secretary on Wednesday 23rd April 2014 of member’s obligations to attend meetings regularly brought out one or two faces we had not seen for some time. One of these I had thought was dead. I will not mention names if only to ensure that fate is not tempted. It was therefore 21 bright smiling faces that looked up as I rang the bell to start the meeting, mobile phones were disengaged, mouths of the leadership team were empted of food before the introductions were made and the scene was set for an Ed Slot delivered by our Pilgrim, Brian Painter.
A show of hands revealed that more than one person knew of Aesop’s fables and the fact that I have spelt it correctly without recourse to a dictionary proves that I was one of those. There followed a story of 2 monks, one young, one old and a young lady standing on the bank of a stream. Things were looking promising… Not one of them was a smoker but as the story unravelled it was clear that the youngest monk, if not suffering from a phobia thought that the old monk carrying the young lady across the stream was somehow a breach of this particular order’s vows of chastity. When challenged by the younger monk, the old monk paused…. what was going too happened next? The unasked question floated on the air.
Which of the following was the response of the older monk?
- He gave the younger monk a good slap
- He prostrated himself and beat himself with birch twigs
- He told the young monk exactly the sort of things that would amount to a breach of his vows of chastity.
- None of the above, simply a shrug of the shoulders and with the equivalent of the words “…can you see me doing anything that would amount to the breach of my vows laddie, find your own way to wherever we were going…”
The moral of the story was, if you don’t know what something is, don’t accuse someone of doing it.
It was therefore with bemusement that we hit the 60 second round. Stricken by the effects of man flu I felt that I was hallucinating. Only little snippets of information from various members’ offerings seemed to breach my consciousness.
Michael Adelizzi is looking for people with good quality bathrooms that have nothing wrong with them so that he can replace them.
Stuart Smallcombe had a card with his photograph on it which was apparently an access card… not a master card…an access card. They can be quite expensive but, if used instead of keys, they can be quite useful in the work place. It’s not a question of how many workers you have; it’s a question of how many doors.
Allan Moller is looking to convince people that their DIY efforts were useless and he could put them right. In order to do this sort of thing you need to be checked by the Criminal Referrals Bureau!
Nick Cooke was removing a large chimney breast. I have a slight recollection of Nick’s fondness for such things from last week, but this week he finished off rather whimsically declaring…”I really prefer houses”.
David Plumley offered us 2 questions that we could be asking, one was right and one was wrong. I think the questions were as follows:-
1. How much would a brand new efficient office computer system cost?
2. How much is the old one costing me to keep going? Slightly reminiscent of John Kennedy’s… “ask not what your Country can do for you, but what…”, well you knew how it goes.
Terry Maylin explained that court fees had recently gone up by 81%. Please do not mix up “courts” with “lawyers”, chance would be a fine thing.
I know that Richard Read would be disappointed to think that he had not breached my consciousness with his tailor made 2 weeks in Morocco. For the less ambitious of us, we could have a very good holiday that involves flying on an aeroplane for just over £629.00.
Kim Redwood-Lee told of somebody turning a hobby into a business. My admiration tends to veer towards those who turn a business into a hobby.
Brian Painter emerged from his Aesopian heights of earlier in the meeting to simply make passing reference to smokers and phobias. No reference to toxic chemicals. No ladies trying to jump out of aeroplanes in full flight. Quite disappointing really…
Kevin Brooks was awarding the Oscar and his award ceremony was far more entertaining than his 60 seconds. He awarded it to Scott for some really good reason that did not penetrate my consciousness.
The much “coveted” 10 minute presentation saw Paul Booth explaining about Inheritance and Capital Gains Tax and giving us some concrete examples. It is one of the signs of a good presentation when there follow several questions which show that people have been listening, a testament to Paul’s professionalism. It tells me he is trying to turn Accountancy into a hobby, let’s send him more clients before he does so. It would put me off hobbies for life.
Once again the increased numbers produced lots of referrals and recorded business of £25,280.00 which was a good effort.
With one or two absences being down to illness let’s see if we can stay healthy and produce a meeting next week with slightly larger numbers.