With 25 Members and 1 visitor it was a well-attended meeting and the first of the month of July.
Stuart Smallcombe gave us a timely reminder as to what should or should not be included in the 60 second round. It was a reminder to take the limited time to rely on essentials and choose a topic, not the whole of your business to advertise and then focus on how that business can “move you away from pain” by saving money, solving a problem or giving a top tip. He then went on to refer to his company (Illustratively) as XYZ Widgets and then went on to complain about the fact that he found it hard to think of amusing tag lines that involved his company. What about…… “we’ve no time for fidgets, here at XYZ Widgets”.
So effective was this Ed Slot that many people declared during their 60 seconds that they had abandoned their original thoughts in the light of Stuart’s admonitions and delivered a more terse and focused 60 seconds as a result of it…some of us that is.
The 60 Second Round
Marcelle Saad kicked us off and if you were born in July or you had a 15th or 40th wedding anniversary in the month the Ruby is the stone for you. Apparently the really valuable ones are the ones the colour of pigeon’s blood. It pre-supposes you know what pigeon’s blood looks like in the first place but interesting.
Saying of the week was from Jo Eastwood. “…I have the solution…” Her 60 seconds was in praise of Gin, more particularly a brand called Hendricks. Made me think of a possible name for a rock star…Ginny Hendricks; may be if the rock star known as Hendrix had drunk gin rather than his normal cocktail of drugs he would still have been with us today, and by the way the hint of flavour with the Gin is cucumber and rose and it is normally served with cucumber, a slice that is.
Jo Jones demonstrated, with the aid of our resident accountant Paul Booth, certain exercises using a plate that aim to exercise your core… which seems to be mainly your butt. Paul’s demonstration was worthy of the Oscar in itself.
Stuart Smallcombe might have inspired us all to be more economically focused in our 60 seconds but this was not going to put off Alan Shaw. He told of a client wishes to build over a double garage, initially wanted 2 bedrooms, changed her mind several times and then found out that she was pregnant. He denied everything. Pure whimsy!
Mike Rogers declared that with old age comes wisdom, he then told of traumatic times at the hands of various barbers he had encountered. He took comfort in the fact that now, in his old age and with his wisdom, that the hair will always grow back again. As he was sporting a Gulag Haircut he would have been better off taking comfort from Jo Eastwood’s Hendricks Gin.
David Plumley was very Stuart Smallcombe; we must all take steps in all possible ways to protect any problems with our email and IT usage and therefore just make sure, by employing him you will ensure that all protections are in place. Recent ransomware incidents must surely make anybody who has not done so hitherto sign up with David.
Nikhil Shah was the first…but not the last…to poison the air with the “C” word. Yes, he is preparing for Christmas. His interesting calendar and the hot weather did nothing to prevent the chill that ran down my spine and possibly some others as a result of being reminded of dark nights, chestnuts roasting… baah humbug!!!
Alan Shaw, as previously described, maintained the School of Whimsy’s high standards. Nick Cooke took it a stage further. He had a prop. It was a map of the Romford area prepared by the British Geological Survey that tells him, presumably you if you looked at it, what kind of soil your house is sitting on. Clay, which covers most of Essex is bad, sand and gravel, which covers some of it, is good.
Stuart Smallcombe, he of XYZ Widgets, was extoling the virtues of being able to transfer your landline on to your mobile phone thereby enabling you to stay in contact and continue a conversation even if you were rushing out of the office and has started using the phone on your desk. Its magic!!!
John Hammond produced a smart electronic lock that only cost £1.95 which would enable you to open, close and lock your door by simply twitching your nose. I suppose it depends what you part of your anatomy you want to activate it. The more outlandish the more expensive presumably.
Jill Willis talked of lead generation and that is should be “inbound”. In short, getting customers to come to you and seek out your services.
Howard Bullock followed her and at first sight he did not appear to have a connected theme He declared himself divinely blessed. He has recently received instructions from a member of the clergy. They are apparently self-employed. I suspect he would like to have his customers/congregation seek him out (inbound), maybe the church should employ Jill Willis.
This 60 second round was just getting more and more exciting. Matt Barry produced an animation which he demonstrated via his laptop.
The next member up was Alan Moller who described a conversation he had had with “Kate” regarding replacement switches and smoke alarms. An exact replica of the telephone conversation was then recited. Although he did not manage to accurately imitate Kate the conversation was excellent. Although a potential Oscar winner the accolade was given to Brian Painter who told of a lady who gave up smoking 30 a day and sent him a text telling him how wonderful he made her feel. There is life in the old dog yet…
This weeks statistics and points of note
Performance league winner for the month of June: Paul Booth.
Business recorded: £25,450.00
New Member induction: John Hammond
Members in attendance: 25
Visitor: 1 Paul Sweeney who has promised he will come back.
Lots of people wearing shorts and flip flops – must be the weather.
10 minute presentation by Scott Griffiths
Scott Griffiths treated us to a slide show and in particular a small presentation by a Google man called Matt Cutts. Matt Cutts appeared wearing pink shirt and blue jeans and telling us how Google found information for its index. As I watched said Mr Cutts it occurred to me that Scott Griffiths was wearing……. pink shirt and blue jeans. This must be the Google uniform. A good presentation by Scott however more than maintained his credibility in his field.