Chairman’s Blog, Thursday 30th July 2015.
Holidays are upon us. Despite 6 members being away sunning themselves at various holiday destinations we mustered 18 members and under the circumstances this was a good turnout.
David Plumley delivered the Ed Slot and used his time effectively to advance the benefits and the significance of attending the Synergy Team Meetings. The benefits of these group get togethers and finding our more about each other was his basic message.
The 60 second round started with an uncomfortable message from Jo Jones for many of us. She brandished a tape measure (this was for the blokes) If you have a waist in excess of 40” you have a problem and she issued the warning that the measurement should be taken round your belly button which apparently doesn’t move. Fortunately breakfast was still some time away.
It was nice to see Graham Wright back sporting a rather extravagant purplish striped shirt. At a sartorial level he couldn’t be beaten save for perhaps by David Plumley who was sporting luminous greeny blue socks. That was that, so far as matters sartorial was concerned.
The School of Whimsy was somewhat reduced by the absence of Nick Cooke but was in full flow nonetheless. Alan Shaw stated that he should have been designing buildings this week but was dealing with water flow rates and the calculations surrounding these. The job he had been involved with this was apparently 3 times over the limit. His message therefore that he did not want jobs that involved water flow rates. He add however that he does design buildings. Brian Painter produced a metaphor of the painting hanging on your wall that you do not like. You have apparently 3 options. 1. Your leave it there. 2. You turn it round to face the wall. 3. You take it down. This is apparently what you do with panic attacks…pick the bones out of that!
The Bard of Hadleigh addressed us all by walking up and down behind those seated “bar side” of the room holding forth on the excellent travel insurance that RMK offer. Clearly the up and down was travelling which presumably also intended to emphasise his point. There seemed to be some link between the Bard and David Plumley. Yes he of the lurid green blue socks, was talking about routers which have apparently improved over the years. You should look to change yours or at least check that it is working properly. Routers presumably have something to do with travel but I think it’s more to do with the speed of movement of your computer. Now Stuart Smallcombe, still on IT related matters held forth on Voice Over IP, apparently it’s not always the best way to go but consult him to find out.
Is it the holiday season or did I get the impression that everyone was looking to be informative but really did not want too much business flowing in at the moment, with holidays coming up..surely not. Graham Wright, in the absence of last week’s winner awarded the Oscar. Your question for the week to be answered in comments to this Blog is, who won the Oscar last week and who won the Oscar this week. You need to get both right and the winners themselves and the person who awarded them are excluded from the competition.
Paul Booth was standing in for Scott Griffiths and delivered the excellent message in the Meeting Secretary’s Report that last month we achieved business recorded of £118,000.00 based on 90 referrals and so far this month we have hit just over £76,000.00 on 70 referrals. Very good numbers!
I did say that Graham Wrights shirt and David Plumley socks were the extent of the sartorial experience this week, but when Kim Redwood-Lee stood in front of us to deliver her 10 minute presentation I think we were all stunned by her vivid brick coloured high heels which she apparently declared cost her only £6 quid. When we had managed to wrench our eyes and thoughts from her shoes we were treated to an example of how she went about setting a company up properly, book keeping wise, to enable it to have relevant management information both for its own purposes and convincing banks to lend money. It was a really good illustration of what she can do and how she does it and why we should not find it difficult to refer businesses to her.
Finally I would like to one again ask as many of you as possible to attend our garden party on Sunday 9th August (yes that’s Sunday week) I can guarantee the weather (or plenty of shelter) and a culinary experience second to none. Please get your replies in to my email.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 23rd July 2015.
The attendance over recent weeks has been almost precisely maintained. 21 in all in attendance with 1 guest, John Kernaghan standing in for last week’s guest Jo Eastwood. They are ready to join us when Jo returns from holiday next week. Hopefully another product of Brian’s recruitment drive and Terry Maylin’s persistence.
This week was characterised by the contributions of the Naughty Corner. It’s 2 stalwarts, Howard Bullock and Stuart Smallcombe were joined by the Bard of Hadleigh hismself, hopefully inspired by a holiday in Wordsworth Country and Paul Booth, flushed with his success as the holder of the jolly good egg award.
It all started when Mike Rogers excused himself from the meeting I rather stupidly offered Howard Bullock the opportunity of being bellman during the 60 second round. He accepted it with what can only be described as enthusiasm. That should have been the warning sign. Naively on my part, it was only when he was introduced as the bellman and asked to confirm the sounds we would hear after 55 and 60 second respectively that the full horror of the situation emerged. The bell of 55 seconds was traditional. The shout…no!! …the bellow of “hit it with a shoe” was declared as the 60 second warning. Unfortunately those members who frequently transgress the 60 second time limit were in no way put off by this and so the aforementioned bellow was heard on several occasions during the 60 second round.
Mr Bullock also was the only member to deserve a mention in relation to matters sartorial. This week it was the shirt. Loud, “in the other way” brightly coloured and striped. It would have competed successfully against any deck chair that could be found on the sea fronts of Brighton and Blackpool put together.
Stuart Smallcombe made his presence felt in an equally positive but perhaps slightly more constructive way in that he delivered the Ed Slot. It was ominous when he set up the flip chart and then took us through the 4 stages that should take place when we give effect to a business plan. The idea should be followed by the action, should then produce a result. The 4th stage is of fundamental importance and that is to review the result. Whether it was a good result or a bad result it should provide insights as to how we deal with the next idea.
Paul Booth only added to the quality by occupying the ranks of the Naughty Corner. Not only is he well out front in the performance league but in the referrals and testimonials round a plethora of referrals will ensure that he stays out there.
Kevin Radford also drew applause for his contributions for his referrals and testimonials round for his referrals and acknowledgements of money written.
So what of us lesser mortals left to try and make our mark in the 60 second round. The School of Whimsy would not be denied. Nick Cooke started with what was intended to be a metaphor by explaining how to make Eggs Benedict. It sort of got out of hand and we were all rather left with the impression that if anybody asked us how to do Eggs Benedict we would refer them to Nick… who apparently also designs steel beams. Alan Shaw remembered an extension for a client that, through illness of said client could not proceed but undaunted he is redesigning the conservatory. Rather a sad tale for a bright sunny morning. It was left to Brian Painter to emphasise the significance of his membership of the School of Whimsy. He treated a client who had a fear of flying brought about by turbulence on an air flight. In fact the real culprit turned out later to be her mother and an argument that she had had with her many years earlier. Allan Moller, of all people, laid claim to be mentioned in the same breath as messrs, Cooke, Shaw and Painter by asking for referrals for anyone who has had a burglary. The implication is that CCTV and lighting would be very useful ways of preventing the burglary, but it seems to be me better if you referred him to a burglar who could perhaps then give the information to him as to who to approach for this service.
It was nice to hear Marcelle, back with us before her holiday, explaining the services she offers.
I did not really hear what deal Richard Reed was offering but no doubt we will watch out for his email.
So that was a flavour of what we heard in the 60 second round. It resulted in Nick Cooke receiving the Oscar from our newest member Jo Jones, presumably because she is partial to Eggs Benedict.
Scott’s Meeting Secretary’s Report that followed the 60 second round was uplifting; we finished up with 24 referrals and business recorded of £24,630.. This month is on target to equal last month’s which produced in excess of £100,000 business written; a good effort by all concerned.
Richard Reed reported on the Synergy Team Meeting that occurred earlier in the week for the Business to Consumer group. This is always well run and well received as a meeting, he along with others who attended suggested all of you who have not attended his meeting at the George and Dragon in Mountnessing should watch out for his email and try and come along at least once.
After breakfast the 10 minute presenter was Allan Moller. He spoke in great detail and authority about the importance of his services. He produced 1 or 2 props and an overall 10 minutes that very few of us understood, but was as an effective 10 minute presentation as I have heard, because we all went away with fear in our hearts knowing that even though we did not understand it, he knew what he was talking about and that we could recommend him with confidence. I think it’s fair to say that those of us who have had Allan do work for us have been impressed with his understanding of the problem, his efficiency in dealing with it, his cheerfulness whilst doing the job and a finished article that both worked and about which we hadn’t the slightest idea. He left us with an impression of the importance of a yellow button and 3 months, the significance of brown and blue rather than green and red. “Main” bonding and not “male” bonding and the fact that he is fully qualified and works very hard to maintain this standard of excellence.
Remember however, he is not superman. Someone who was keeping score indicated that his presentation included 93 “Errrms”. As we all know however, “to err is human”! Well done Allan.
Referrals and testimonials round was as good as should be expected from the numbers of referrals and the amount of business written. Some good performances that should make the performance league a high scoring one this month.
We are now in the holiday season which will account for 1 or 2 of the members next week. Could I urge on all of you who are not on holiday to make every effort to turn up and make next weeks meeting as successful as this weeks.
Chairman’s Business networking Blog, Thursday 16th July 2015.
21 present including guests; old friend Ed Crocker and Jo, a wine merchant who more than adequately demonstrated her ability to research by promptly asking where the Naughty Corner was situated. I was pleased to point this out to her and when I also pointed out one or two of its inhabitants a look of understanding crossed her face. It would be a shame if she didn’t join us. Talking about joining us, I had the pleasure of inducting Jo Jones, our most recent member, welcome to EBF Jo.
The Ed Slot’s guest presenter this week was Terry Maylin who quite rightly emphasised the importance of our recruitment drive and the need for everybody to participate wholeheartedly. The statistics were compelling. One new member is on average worth just under £30,000 worth of business to other members on an annual basis. Bear this though in mind when Brian Painter allocates you your visitor chasing duties.
On the sartorial side we were somewhat subdued; Brian Painter was his usual dapper self without the excesses of last week and Nick Cooke sported rather excessive red and white hooped socks but otherwise we were a fairly dowdy bunch.
For the 60 second round the Naughty Corner had its ranks swelled as Paul Booth and Richard Reed joined incumbents Howard Bullock and Stuart Smallcombe. Dean Caldon once again dissociated himself from the group. Stuart Smallcombe explained with a certain amount of overstated simplicity, aimed at our Pilgrim, how important his company was in assisting businesses with their communications. Paul Booth had been off giving expert evidence in court proceedings. Howard Bullock, who would look quite overdressed if he wore anything other than shorts, told of a husband and wife, who were divorcing and therefore struggling with the financial side of their lives, finding an uncomplicated expedient of the husband dying.
Richard Reed could do nothing to help dispel the gloom that Mr Bullock cast because his 60 seconds of sheer holiday destination delight was delivered before said Bullock rose to his feet. It was left to Kevin Brooks to regale us with stories of the “Wanstead Job”, which features the neighbour from hell. He seems to be getting on top of her, if you understand my meaning.
The School of Whimsy did us proud this week. One of its leading protagonists was missing, namely Alan Shaw, but others stepped up to the plate. Nick Cooke, not to be confused with “Quick Nick” takes time over his structural surveys and confessed that women sometimes are more understanding than men whenever he is obliged to explain why a good survey takes time. Brian Painter, a sometime proponent of the whimsical, spoke of driving phobias. Freezing while taking your test, not being able to turn out of a side road to the right, not being able to go anywhere new without someone there to reassure and guide or simply not being able to drive on the motorway. Rather than persuading these people to give up driving he cures the phobia and thereby exposes them to death by road accident rather than the usual nicotine poisoning that he tries to prevent.
If you think what I have already described represented a bizarre set of 60 second presentations there is more to come…….
Peter Hood was flushed with recent successes doing toilet repairs. Over recent weeks 80% of his work surrounded those objects of relief and relaxation. It therefore will not surprise the reader of this Blog that he is looking for “small jobs”. David Plumley was in similar “muse mode” Whenever he watches movies over 15 years old he is apparently always struck by the absence of computers, the need to approach filing cabinets, card indexes and the like, particularly in police stations. Clearly more modern films give him that warm feeling that only a computer can give when demonstrating instant access to data.
Donna Evans sold herself this week as being able to assist after refurbishment or rebuilding had taken place. Not only curtains and blinds but shutters are apparently de rigeur. She then told of a particular job that involved tarting up a gazebo. I did feel that we might all benefit in another 60 seconds if she could describe exactly what she did to said gazebo, by way of tarting that is.
So who won the Oscar? Well who else but out new member Jo Jones who explained about her boot camp. If you think that the award was simply sentiment I am sure Brian will dispel this by turning up next week in lycra shorts. Well done Jo.
We moved on from the 60 second round to good fertile ground. The Meeting Secretary had figures showing in excess of 20 referrals and just short of £35,000 worth of business recorded, which set us up well for the referrals testimonials round, a fitting end to the meeting. However it is too early in this Blog to be talking of the meetings end.
The Synergy Team Report for the Finance and Professions Meeting on Tuesdays of this week led to a plea to all members to try and attend Synergy Teams Meetings and see how they work. Although they are aimed at specific, members all members could benefit from attending either or indeed both.
The Recruitment Drive, which with the induction of Jo is bearing fruit, continues to progress under the tutelage of Brian Painter.
And so we broke for breakfast.
This was followed by Scott Griffiths delivering an excellent 10 minutes of visual explanation as to what makes a good website and the importance of having a good website professionally produced. Principal points that he illustrated were that it should be mobile phone friendly, with sufficient details of location to be pin pointed by Google and have a content that will be designed to ensure a high listing with said Google. The offer by Scott to review our websites for free really should not be missed. It was a very professional performance and explains why we are fortunate to have his expertise in dealing with EBF’s website.
On that high note I will leave you all with my question for the week to be answered in the comments to this Blog. To get it right will earn points in the performance league. The question is this…. our visitor Jo Eastwood is a wine merchant. Whereabouts is her shop situated. And Terry Maylin is excluded from this particular completion as is Paul Booth. Terry Maylin is an obvious choice because he introduced this particular visitor and Paul Booth because I know that he knows the answer, he has already got too many points this month. So is Scott Griffiths for no particular reason other than I know he knows.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 9th July 2015.
It didn’t seem that this was going to be one of the great meetings.
Attendance was fair – 18 members and 1 visitor.
People gradually drifted in, charged their glasses with orange juice and cups with coffee or tea. Almost the effort making tea with hot water and a tea bags seemed to be too much for some people. There was an air of anticlimax after all the great meetings of June with high attendance and lots of business passed. Frankly I was feeling a little glum. The naughty corner was missing 2 core members, Messrs Bullock and Smallcombe. Dean Caldon had moved back but he was isolated by at least one chair from the rest of the members on that side of the room. I was just beginning to chastise myself for this early onset of melancholia when one or two things started happening. Apparently Howard Bullocks needed to be on a speed awareness course because he had driven his electric powered motor car over the speed limit. It was probably only a 30 mile an hour speed limit but Mike Rogers was getting very excited.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 2nd July 2015.
A full house; 25 in all including 4 visitors, Andy Gibson and Ian McKenzie from a security company, Joanne, a Personal Fitness Trainer and Gary Boyce, visiting us again.
Our meeting had been preceded by the hottest day of the year and it was unsurprising, if not a little disconcerting, to see so many people in shorts and sandals. Indeed this is the basis of my now weekly question that will give points in the performance league to the first one who gets the right answer in commenting on this Blog. “How many members were wearing shorts?”
David Plumley delivered Attendance 3 and delivered an upbeat message on the benefits of , if not the necessity of, regular attendance.
Dipping into the 60 second round there were 1 or 2 little gems.
The Naughty Corner was in evidence, although Dean Caldon had deserted them only to be replaced by Richard Willis.
The School of Whimsy was there, at last in full force. Alan Shaw has been slipping of late and although he did tell us of a school project that he was involved in and new flats over shops he must receive the accolade at the end of this year for “best use of other peoples props” when he fiddled around with David Plumley’s electrical equipment that he had brought along just for the purpose. Nick Cooke, although largely on message, spent the whole 60 seconds rubbing his hands as he gave his deliverance in a way that was slightly chilling on what promised to be really hot day. Brian Painter introduced us to the wonderful world of the “what iffers ”. On the basis we were enjoying he decided that we deserved 3 minutes worth. Although most of us felt such behaviour deserved a slap, Alan Moller decided it was worthy of the Oscar which of course, in content and delivery it was.
Kim Redwood-Lee told us of the perfect client and it seemed to bear a strong resemblance to the sort of bloke she would like to run into in a dark alley. Although this paragon is ideally what she is looking for she will accept flabby middle aged men who do not have their tackle in order (by tackle or course I mean their invoices and supporting paper work).
Marcelle introduced the Ruby which is apparently appropriate for both the 15th and 40th wedding anniversaries. They come from Burma or whatever is called now. If a goyle makes it to 40 years of marriage I suppose she does deserve a second Ruby.
Two people deserve a mention for giving us relevant and useful information, which surely is what the 60 second round is all about; namely Mike Rogers who told us of fast disappearing fixed rate mortgages but also told us of a great one the NatWest had for 2 years and Richard Reed suggests we splash out every now and then on a dream holiday and a 12 day visit to Chile and Argentina he thought would fit the bill. From the area of the world that gave us Montezumas Revenge I think we need more information and I have no doubt he will respond accordingly.
For those of us who suffer the irritation of lawn cutting on a regular basis Lewis Hackney has the answer, Astroturf. It’s expensive, it has to be maintained but it don’t have to be mowed.
With that endorsement ringing in our ears our visitors were given an opportunity of parading their wears and we then moved on to the Meeting Secretary’s Report. Last month was an exceptional month for our group in all sorts of ways. Paul Booth once again was the winner of the performance league. He and the Bard of Hadleigh are examples of what members can achieve so far as referrals are concerned. They are always aware of the opportunity and we need to emulate them.
Other monthly statistics were more than encouraging. 53 referrals passed and slightly in excess of £118,000 worth of business recorded. June was a very good month because all of these statistics were coupled with good attendance; Nice to see that we have kicked off this month in the same vein with really good attendance at this meeting, what finished up as 20 referrals passed and over £8,000 worth of business recorded. The holiday season is very much on us but let us see if we can maintain our attendance level.
The other thing which was not recorded statistically was an increase in the number of visitors, either directly or indirectly. Brian’s recruitment campaign is galvanising us and so it should. By way of a “call to arms” may I ask all of you who are seeking out potential visitors and providing the list of 10 that they not only make sure that full details are available including if possible contact name but that those making contact use their best persuasive powers. There is a script there if you need guidance and always feel free to speak to Brian on this.
And so we broke for breakfast and with visitors in mind it was the turn of Christian Cuvelier, the first product of Brian’s recruitment drive who gave us his first 10 minute presentation. He is a confident presenter whose one fault is that he cannot tell the time. Well done ~Christian, let’s have 1-2-1’s with him and find out more about exactly what he can produce.
Finally a reminder to you all to bring business cards with you in order to restock the business card box and a plea from me to all of you to respond to my email regarding the garden party so that I can get numbers together. The 9th August is not far away!!!
Brentwood Business Networking Blog 25th June
Guest Written by Howard Bullock
Our illustrious Chairman Aidan Squire was away this week so once again his shoes were capably filled by the feet of Master Hypnotherapist – Mr Brian Painter. Courtesy of Richard Willis, we has one visitor this week – namely Darren Daley of Clarity Consultant Solutions.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 18th June 2015.
After the 2 attendances running of 24 and 25 members respectively this week might have been a bit of an anticlimax with 16 members present, but it is a pleasure to report that this meeting was nothing of an anticlimax. It was in fact a very lively and relaxed meeting with some well timed and effective interruptions that added rather than detracted from the proceedings.
David Plumley continued his theme with his second Ed Slot aimed at attendance. His subsequent publishing of the text perhaps takes away, from me at least, the feeling that he is preaching to the converted. He introduced Fictitious Fred whose get up and go got up and went. These offerings are too good to be introduced every week. They are there to be savoured on an “every other week” basis.
Disaster of disasters; our storage box had been turned upside down in the storage cupboard, the bell was missing and more importantly, almost all of the cards out of the business card box!! Don’t forget to bring extra business cards with you next week to help us restock. It was on the issue of business cards that Scott Griffiths introduced “Evernote”, a free app that enables you to store business cards on your ‘phone. Seems very useful but as my ‘phone doesn’t take pictures I assume I will have to get an upgrade before I can get the “free “Evernote app”. My preference is to keep the business card box stocked, so please remember next week.
And so to the 60 second round which posed challenges for all of us.
Mike Rogers didn’t have a bell to ring and Peter Hood, who won the Oscar, wasn’t there to award this week’s. Two different size glasses stood in for the bell and Christian Cuvelier stood in for Peter.
It was in fact Mike Rogers’ birthday which explained why he spent the meeting with a fixed rictus grin on his face and tried ever so hard to be cheerful. It was only towards the end of the meeting that he really brightened up at the prospect of going home to an empty house with no one to bother him…happy birthday Mike.
Talking of people taking pleasure where others cannot see it, David Plumley was positively beaming at the prospect of hard drives and other methods of data storage eventually failing, it gives him something to do.
I am struggling to recognise a theme from the offerings this week but Stuart Smallcombe, who apparently was “juggling too many balls”, was looking for little jobs. Alan Moller was also looking for little jobs on his way home and Kevin Radford was warning us to look very carefully at the small print. You don’t have to convince us all that insurance isn’t exciting Kevin; it’s pushing it a bit however when our worthy provider of insurance products suggests we should make our insurance choices based on life style. Back to Stuart Smallcombe juggling with too many balls. There was nothing small, little, or even minute about Christian Cavalier’s presentation. He promised us 3 items and he had used a minute up before completing the first one. Undaunted he carried on. I had a flash of premonition about his presentation of the Oscar at the end of the round.
Richard Willis used the disappearing business cards from the business card box to good effect by suggesting we all review our business cards and instruct him to help prepare new ones. The other Richard, Richard Reed talked of gospel breakfasts.
I am afraid lost a bit of the context because I was overwhelmed by his attire. I did promise that I would pose a question every week for you to answer in your comments to this Blog and the first one who gets the question right will be awarded lots of points by Scott. So, what was it that Richard Reed was wearing that so distracted me? I want you to cover all 3 items, top – nature of colour and garment, middle – nature of garment and colour, bottom – feet- what footwear was he displaying. Remember, it’s only the first to get this right that wins the prize.
Alan Shaw is becoming boring; he was once again on message. This is the second time this has happened in 3 meetings…pull yourself together Alan.
Terry Maylin warned of any tenancies created pre 2007 in residential premises where your deposit has been taken. New rules put you in jeopardy if you are a landlord. He has already had a couple of calls.
Kim Redwood-Lee made the theme of her presentation the importance of cash flow with suggestions as to how this could be improved. I was about to say that her 60 seconds “promptly” won her the Oscar. Which leads me back to my premonition; Christian quite rightly awarded her this accolade but it was nothing but prompt. Some of us were losing the will to live but I think he finally made the right choice for the right reasons. Well done Christian.
So what else can I report to you all, well…there was a Synergy Team Meeting, Business to Consumer on which Richard Red reported and on which all those who participated supported him with glowing praise? You really all should try and get to at least one of Richard’s Synergy Team Meetings, they really are useful.
By now we were all salivating but undaunted our Pilgrim set about us all as he furthered his recruitment drive. For those of you looking for visitors to create the lists for those who are going to chase, don’t forget the telephone number!
Breakfast was its usual high quality and as 16 were eating for 25 there followed a fairly long period of silence as we all set about our food….. or was the silence one of anticipation. Our 10 minute presenter was none other than our Pilgrim, Brian Painter himself. Having regaled us in his 60 seconds with the statistics that flowed from smokers investing the money that the spent on cigarettes he gave a really stunning performance of simple explanation as to the balance between the conscious and subconscious mind and how he actually goes about revealing and curing phobias. It left us all the ability to sell his product with confidence borne out of knowing the process and understanding and believing how it works.
And so finally to the referrals and testimonial round. There were 20 referrals which, given that only 16 members were in attendance was an excellent strike rate. Over £10,000 worth of business was written pushing out total so far this month close to the £100,000 mark – let’s make this month a record breaking one.
Until next week!
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 11th June 2015.
24 members present including Christian Cuvelier at his first meeting as a full member and he was duly inducted.
The numbers more than matched last week’s excellent effort.
The Ed Slot this week was delivered by Nick Cooke. His subject was the 60 second presentation and his recommendation that we include every now again jobs that we have been involved in the previous week. Staggeringly at least 80% of the contributors followed that advice to the letter. Nick should give up the day job and be an Ed Slot presenter.
So what of the 60 second round?
My reporting on the 60 second round isn’t intended to be an encouragement for people to misbehave. Last week I was silly enough to mention how we all liked it when Peter Hood talked dirty. So encouraged he recounted the fitting of a replacement toilet in the home of an 85 year old who apparently did not have stomach problems or a weak bladder, this was just as well. The concrete base came out easily enough after he had demolished the toilet itself; it was then he discovered the hissing which was a leak under the floor. The poor old boy was not able to do his number ones or number twos until. About 10 o’clock in the evening.
Vying for potty mouth of the week was Kevin Radford. In conjunction with William Wordsworth he produced a graceful poem about the much maligned Mr Lou Rolls. Replete with disgusting innuendo, had he not been awarding the Oscar, he would have had a good chance of winning it.
Richard Willis gave him a run for his money by advising “don’t tweet crap”. If you insert a comma after the word tweet and before the word crap it reads differently and probably better. He was followed by Donna Evans whose first utterance was Uhhh!!. I think this was an exclamation aimed at the next 60 second rather than a comment on Richard Willis’s advice but… you never know.
What of the School of Whimsy, who have been hiding their respective lights under bushels of late. Well they were back in full swing.
Nick Cooke talked of a wobbly wall, the diagnosis of which stretched the wisdom that he has acquired from years of training; but he did, apparently, give the correct diagnosis and rather helpfully went on to tell them how they could correct it. Some evidence here of the need to give up the day job but he was followed by his fellow member Alan Shaw who this week should receive all of the accolades. He described the office cat brining a rat in to the office and then promptly letting go of said vermin. Alan’s response was to open all doors and windows and leave it at that, presumably anticipating that the rat would make for safety. He did however seem unsure as to whether this strategy had worked or not. Maybe next week there will be a sequel? Not satisfied by this piece of whimsy and adopting a brisk pace in order to get it into the 60 seconds, he then told of a bill he delivered to a lady which on closer inspection had an extra nought added on the end of it. This client had largely blamed her husband rather than Alan for this oversight and he did not tell us exactly how much he got paid for his endeavours. Alan Moller, who can often indulge in whimsy produced a 60 second rendition that had those around him suitably amused and therefore I can assume was of good quality. All I picked up was a job that he had finished, had a problem with the electricity supply. I think everything turned out ok in the end. Finally the sometimes member of the School of Whimsy, Brian Painter did the jumbo jet simile and once again made you feel that if we could convince everyone who smoked to give it up his 60 seconds we would be less likely to be put off our breakfast.
Hot tip of the week on the financial advice side from Mr Bullock was not to invest in gold. He also did explain why and certainly given the chance I will invest in silver if ever I have the money to do so.
If gold and silver were buzzing in my head as I listened to these contributions Howard was quickly followed by Richard Reed who looked bronzed. His specialist knowledge and impartial advice had at least taken him to the right place.
Dr Deb flaunted the 3 S’s; these are what being a member of Utility Warehouse give you the customer. Just to show her that we were all listening let’s have a blog comment from at least one of you confirming what those 3 S’s are. A hint, it had nothing to do with what Peter Hood was talking about.
The final impression that I got from Lewis Hackney was that he is getting slightly paranoid believing that his neighbour is looking at him through the fence as he waters the grass. Preacher heal thy self…lay the whole of your garden out in those nice Marshals products and you will not need to water and your neighbour won’t need to peer through the fence…job done!
Before I leave the 60 second round it is with some trepidation that I confirm who won the Oscar. Yes it was Peter Hood. Please do not let this be further encouragement young man!
This week we had a Synergy Team Report from Paul Booth which confirmed a useful financial group meeting and Brian Painter maintains his cajoling over the recruitment of members. He is managing amongst other things to demonstrate how some categories lend themselves more than others to membership of EBF. Let’s keep up with our follow ups ladies and gentleman.
This week the 10 minute presentation was by Richard Willis. To say it was slick does not entirely give the right impression although it was. He gave a very professional presentation. From Billericay Meetings Scott and I remembered a particular affliction from which he suffers and he delivered 57 of them in this presentation. Scott and I have vowed silence over identifying this affliction but if any of you spotted it please add it to the comments of this Blog.
Great presentation Richard.
This week we ran very late and I know you will respond to my suggestion that first through the door, whether door monitors or not collect the boxes and we get the meeting set up as quickly as possible. The new regime gives us less time before we suit down to do that initial networking. Let us all try and be more slick in setting up and moving the meeting forward. Therefore a slightly depleted meeting saw however an excellent referrals and testimonials round and this week the figures were almost as good as last week.
There finished up about 14 referrals and £34,050.00 worth of business recorded as passing. We are almost up to last month’s total of over £80,000.00 after just two weeks. This is one of the main reasons we attend EBF and in the words of the immortal structural engineer and fellow of the School of Whimsy “…its seems to be working nicely, doesn’t it”.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 4th June 2015.
You might all find this very sad, but I often think about what would constitute a perfect EBF breakfast meeting. It would be something like this:
- A full house of members attending
- Several guests
- A useful Ed Slot
- A snappy amusing and informative 60 second round
- A productive recruitment session
- The usual excellent breakfast
- A well presented 10 minutes presentation that gave us lots more information about one of our members
- A referrals round that produced at least half again more referrals than there were members present
- A large sum of recorded business…. anything else? Ah yes
- 10.Sweets and a pen for everyone.
Well…that is what happened today!!!! I pinched myself but I didn’t wake up, indeed, I haven’t even had a cat nap…. yet! I could almost finish my blog there, but nobody would believe me so let me fill in a bit of the detail
1.& 2. 21 members and 3 guests were in attendance and all seats were taken
3 David Plumley delivered an Ed Slot that is going to run for one or two weeks, emphasising the importance of attendance at the breakfast meeting. The fundamental importance of this was perhaps best illustrated by the meeting itself which, being well attended attained all the other goals I have referred to above.
4 With our attendance numbers up there was a buzz about the meeting and there were one or two little gems in the 60 second round.
Peter Hood told of those bl….y annoying things that drive you up the wall. He was of course talking about plumbing things, problems with lavatories, showers and the like. We all like it when Pete talks dirty!
The Bard of Hadleigh told a commercial fisherman, a bilge pump and the subsequent claim that this self employed sea dog could make against his employer when he lost his leg in the aforementioned contraption. It is perhaps a sad reflection on modern life that instead of strapping on a peg to his missing leg, donning a naval hat, sticking a parrot on his shoulder and becoming a star of stage and screen; he chose to make a claim against an insurance policy that Kevin Radford’s client fortunately had taken out with the very reliable RMK. The Bard even finished up with a little ditty leaving us all to reminisce of how things used to be.
David Plumley told us that Windows 10 was on the horizon. Things don’t get much more exciting in David’s line of work but we cannot do without him.
Dean Caldon is concerned for landlords and their potential liability from the effects of Legionnaires Disease in their premises…why? Surely he is not letting out some distant outpost in the Algerian Dessert on behalf of the French Government?
Alan Shaw rose to his feet looking relaxed and slightly sporty. He has been involved with…that’s right, a sports centre.
I was pleased to see that this week the naughty corner was occupied by all of it’s paid up members Messrs Bullock, Smallcombe, Radford and Caldon, aforementioned Bullock was trying to spread panic amongst those worthy citizens who are looking to make pension contributions that will relieve burdens from the State that they might create in a later life. Because there is likely to be a mini budget shortly, there might or might not be some relaxation ortightening of rules in relation to pensions.
On the basis that s..t always happens, he is assuming that these adjustments (if they happen) will be for the worst; therefore pay as much money as you can for your pension now or even take out a new one.
Being in the naughty corner does rub off. Stuart Smallcombe talked of infrastructure, both large and small, from the West End to Southend. Even a bunch of wires hanging out of cupboards is meat and drink to him. Let’s go out there and find him more cupboards with wires hanging out and make the referrals.
Richard Willis illustrated the value of having a well known household name by treating us all to packets of Haribo sweets. Yes that right Haribo, the makers of adverts that are substantially more nauseating than their sweets and horribly affected middleclass children singing out of tune ditties. You just know that you will see them all again when they grow up as presenters of “Spring watch”. However to be fair, he did produce the sweets that were part and parcel of my imaginary meeting.
As I was about to go into humbug mode I was however saved by Mike Rogers. He was comparing the price of eggs when he as a young lad and a first time buyer to what they are now…unfortunately he didn’t know what the differences in price were and it therefore made the comparison between eggs and house prices a little difficult to get over. Never mind, make the most of him when he is in cheerful mood.
Terry Maylin told of verbal abuse that we at TM Law suffer from the debtors that we pursue on behalf of our clients.
Life was also back to normal with Brian Painter he started cheerfully enough; someone wanting to commit suicide using a car, a pipe and lashings of carbon monoxide. It was all looking good when he started listing other things that people could commit suicide with and by the time he had explained about arsenic those of us who are true aficionados of the Pilgrim knew where he was going…that’s right, cigarettes. If you put all the suicides end to end they will go 3 times round the earth in one year. Apply that to smokers and there are substantially more such circumnavigations.
Everyone was excelling themselves!!
Paul Booth is looking for people about to retire but want to carry on working reduced hours. I am sure he said that he wanted to make them pay higher taxes but maybe I was wrong.
Kevin Brooks has bought a new truck. I saw it stood in the car part and rather admired it. It might look good but apparently when you put anything in the back it drops out onto the road as you drive along.
The whole 60 second round was wound up with a generous offer from Scott Griffiths of a free audit for your website.
So who got the Oscar? A close examination by Alan Shaw of all the contenders left all of us, save for Kevin Radford, without a leg to stand on. Kevin Radford’s Oscar can genuinely be described this week as crème de la crème.
So there you have it an excellent 60 second round, another box ticked.
5. What next of my wish list… Ah yes a good recruitment section. Sergeant Major Painter was at his best as he continues to build up our data base of approaches that are made to various businesses. Not only however did he hustle us all to help on our recruitment drive but positive results can now be seen. Christian Cuvelier completed his application to join and in the committee meeting afterwards his application was approved. He is the first completed recruit arising from our recruitment academy. Congratulations to all those in isolating, speaking to and recruiting him and particularly to Brian as our recruitment Guru. So another box well and truly ticked.
6 & 7. Breakfast was good and it was Debra Glover’s chance to present her 10 minute offering. She used the television screen to good effect, she had a well prepared slide show for us and she produced a bingo quiz to help emphasise the details of her products. We learned more about her background and it really was a very good performance from her. As you can see we are keeping up with my wish list. What next? Well..
8 & 9. The icing on the cake was the referrals and testimonials round. There were 21 members and 33 referrals; business written totalled £47,450.00 which was half the monthly total for last month in one week and I thought that last month was quite good in itself.
10. Well done everybody you made all my dreams come true because Debra provided everyone with pens and of course Richard Willis had already provided the sweets…
I don’t suppose I can expect you all to do the same next week!!??
19 members present in what was a lively meeting. Holidays continue to take their toll, this week it was the turn of David Plumley and Scott Griffiths. Richard Reed must bear some responsibility for these holidays whether he arranged them or not. Every week he encourages us to go to mouth-watering locations. This week Terry Maylin and Brian Painter stood in respectively for Scott and David.
The Ed Slot was taken this week by Janice Bentley-Pearson urging us to keep focused on our business goals including maintaining and reviewing records of performance and always being willing to re-write our business aspirations.
The 60 second round was themed and was aimed at revealing the use of jargon in our respective businesses. We accordingly treated ourselves to an agglomeration of acronyms, a lottery of Latin tags and a deluge of derogatory descriptions. Acronyms were exercised particularly by Stuart Smallcombe, Alan Moller, Dean Caldon and others. Latin tags properly fell to myself and Terry Maylin but pride of place must go at least on the jargon front to Mike Rogers. I will spare you all a further reiteration of liberal use of derogatory names describing underwriters, many of which referred to body parts. He shared the Oscar with Alan Shaw who abandoned mere jargon in favour of a quotation from one of the world’s great architects as to what amounted to the basis of the design of a building. Question for you all, who was the architect Alan quoted from…spelt correctly??? Paul Booth was the awarder of the Oscar and after awarding it jointly, supervised arm wrestling between the two protagonists to try and separate them.
The trouble with themed presentations in the 60 second round is that we tend to concentrate on the theme and less on information regarding our business. Never mind, next week will be a theme free 60 second.
Brian Painter followed the 60 seconds in maintaining the search for visitors and new members. Let us hope for some visitors arising from this next week’s targets.
This week the pleasure of the 10 minute presentation fell to me. Thank you all for listening! A pricelist for some of our services seemed to go down well and I will be circulating more details before next week’s meeting.
So far as referrals and testimonials are concerned the numbers were £10,245.00 worth of business recorded and what ultimately amounted to 11 referrals.
I will finish with a call to arms; let’s make every effort to attend next week and get our numbers back into the 20’s.