Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 1st December 2016.
23 Members present and a very cold morning.
The Education Slot was taken by Terry Maylin, his talk was very much focused on channels of communication. The meeting is for the benefit of the members and he explained the importance of airing issues; in particular if a member feels that another member has not performed well. The first reaction must be to try and resolve it directly. What Terry went on to point out is that there is a committee available through their chairman Richard Reed to receive any concerns that cannot be resolved in this way. He also he announced the appointment of Kevin Radford who will hereafter assume the role of “Human Suggestion Box”. Members are welcome to contact him to pass on any suggestions or concerns about EBF generally and hopefully with any positive suggestions for improvement. The more input from members the better.
As it is the first Thursday of December Scott Griffiths was able to announce the Performance League results for November. He announced himself as the clear winner in a rather embarrassed way. No need for embarrassment Scott, we should all be embarrassed that we are not able to match you and that is the challenge for us as members for the short month of December.
The 60 second round followed and there were lots of good contributions.
Marcelle Saad explained about Tanzanite; not only is it from Tanzania but it is a thousand times rarer than diamonds. This must cast doubt as whether diamonds are in fact a girl’s best friend.
There weren’t too many props used by members but the ones that were used were notable. Nikhil Shah produced a selection of teeth and a brace which he managed to drop on the floor. He adopted his usual procedure when such braces are dropped on the floor, he spat on it and he cleaned it with a handkerchief or did he adopt the 10 second rule, I can’t really remember. Anyway, the various sets of teeth that he produced seemed to assume a grin.
Now Richard Reed has been to Marrakesh!!! Four days of last week he was sampling the attractions of the Souk and also a zip-wire experience. He looked tired.
In the meantime Michael Adelizzi was looking particularly to have shop sales, particularly sanitary ware. His extra sized toilets that are the speciality of the House of Thrones deserve to be viewed and indeed purchased. A great Christmas gift for everyone, not just the incontinent.
As Christmas approaches it is a time of stress for lots of us and Nick Cooke was no exception. The stress in this case however was brought about by an undersized steel beam which the building inspector declared to be the wrong size and the builder who declared that he had not read the plans carefully enough. Although slightly bizarre there was nothing whimsical about his contribution this week but Alan Shaw more than made up for it. He started off by following up Nick Cooke’s offering by continuing with the reference to steel beams. He then moved towards an old client of his whose property had burnt down and who was saddened by having a new development site. He continued in an erratic way that would have more than graced a Ramblers Association.
As we delved into the 60 second round further whimsical wonders, often associated with the Christmas period, emerged. Stuart Smallcombe talked of “number portability”. Apparently you can sit in Brentwood with both a foreign and a London number ringing on your desk, wondrous. This former occupant of the Naughty Table who had moved for this week, sort of out Whimsyed the Whimsy’s. Brian Painter produced nothing Whimsical at all. He stuck with smokers, cancer and death.
Scott Griffiths spoke of E-Cards for Christmas. It was getting all too festive. Jill Willis went one stage further, she talked New Year’s resolutions including aims and objectives by business owners to be considered and made clear.
Terry Maylin maintained the Christmas Spirit by explaining how it can be a busy time for us employment lawyers as employers try to shed staff before Christmas to avoid paying the Christmas or New Year bonus.
Howard Bullock declared himself “eye candy” as well as a careful IFA. I think we should all consider what particular type of candy we consider Howard Bullock to be. Is it a gob stopper or a sherbet lemon, your suggestions in the comments section of this Blog please.
After Nikhil Shah, the other member who produced props was Jo Eastwood. Hers were tempting alcoholic gifts for all of us to consider for our loved ones. Her Christmassy message with these supporting props earnt her the Oscar.
So at the end of the 60 second round we had the Meeting Secretary’s Report. He was able to confirm £11,250.00 worth of business recorded and 26 referrals which is excellent and which led to an excellent referrals and testimonials round. However before the referrals round our ten minute speaker, who managed to get prepared and up to speed in a couple of days, none other than our Pilgrim entertained who duly regaled us… and indeed felt he was doing so well that if it was worth taking 10 minutes to address us, he might as well take 20 minutes.
His theme was Past Life Regression. He made the interesting assertion that in some parts of the world birth marks are the sign of a violent death in a previous life and that young children were able to demonstrate this most readily. Presumably because they are closer to having been being born and therefore closer to the event that caused their demise in a previous life. May I repeat the invitation I previously made in the meeting for you all to fully examine yourselves and own up as to whether you have any birth marks and therefore the potential of an earlier life of someone who suffered a violet death. Also if you happen to have an ideas of what that violent death was, please let us know.
So December has another 2 meetings and we have a lot to look forward to. There is a guest speaker next week who will be addressing us upon the grants open to the SME’s based on carbon saving schemes. Who knows there might be a grant out there for you!!
The following week is the last meeting before Christmas and of course is the Brian Painter experience. Lets have a good turnout for both of these meetings.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 24th November 2016.
What it was a good turnout it is now becoming. An average turnout of 24 Members present.
David Plumley did his third instalment of “the importance of attendance”. His upbeat Ed Slot emphasised not only the benefits of attendance but the long term benefits of being a member of our group. An old photograph from the Brentwood Gazette of 8 years ago shows our group as it then was and apparently there were 11 members in that photograph who are still members of EBF. We must be doing something right!!!
The 60 second round revealed one or two members who are doing interesting if not unusual things.
It started with Matt Barry and his infographics. This means putting over information in a very visual way and his demonstration of this with his lap top gave an impression of the internalwall of a pyramid. Hieroglyphics have been replaced by infographics.
Steve Roach told of approaches he had been making to try and get a Chinese connection for Phoenix FM. As the Chinese are mad on snooker, Ronny O’Sullivan and Steve Davis were an attraction and things seemed to be looking good for our inscrutable member.
Tina Walker was trying to persuade us to get her referrals for doing Christmas shopping. She was perhaps slightly encouraged with this flight of fancy by a promoter that she now works for and a flock of seagulls.
Stuart Smallcombe has been down on the farm where he realised that laying cables to link disparate farm buildings ran certain risks from the inevitable farm yard animals that tend to inhabit farm yards. A “wireless bridge” appeared to be the answer.
Nikhil Shah showed off his talents with a series of photographs, before and after, of a mouth that initially looked hideous but finished up looking so good that when the final photograph was taken, the lucky owner of this transformed mouth managed a really big grin.
Surprising announcement of the round was Terry Maylin, suggesting that he preferred good interactions with his client from a satisfaction point of view to metaphorically giving his opponents a good kicking. Unfortunatly I don’t think anybody believed him.
Today there were not too many sartorial matters worthy of comment but two things struck me. Kevin Brooks is definitely promoting the cardigan. This weeks was slightly thicker than last weeks but it was defenatly a “cardi”
Jill Willis was missing this week. I think she was disappointed at last week’s tweed turn out. It’s fair to say that this week was not much better and therefore, from a garment point of view, she didn’t miss much.
Brian Painter was less harsh on us this week. Although he was railing against smoking, he illustrated the terrible effects of smoking by pointing out that every year we need to replace 150,000 smokers from amongst the population. If our Pilgrim continues enabling people to quit that number is likely to go up.
Downer of the round, but deserving of the Oscar, was Jo Jones. She illustrated with various bags filled with different amounts of sugar how all the nice things that we eat at Christmas are likely to raise our sugar intake sky high, it was a well presented and illustrative 60 seconds.
After the 60 second round the Meeting Secretary’s Report confirmed 24 referrals and in excess of £19,500.00 worth of business recorded. That means for this month we have recorded more than £100.000.00.
We went onwards from the 60 second round to the 10 minute presentation. It was Carmel Jane’s turn and she used her time very effectively and very carefully aimed at instructing us exactly what sort of clientele she wanted particularly with regard to schools. She provided packs to many of the members that illustrated her talents in dealing with schools and their photography needs. I suspect she will get some direct referrals arising from this well presented 10 minutes.
The referrals round that followed Carmel’s presentation showed lots of good business being passed and left us all with a very positive feeling at the end of the meeting.
I look forward to similar attendance next week
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 17th November 2016.
A good turnout, 24 members in all. A vibrant meeting ensued illustrating the importance of good attendance.
The Ed Slot was delivered by Scott Griffiths. His theme was setting goals and targets for our businesses. He used a metaphor comparing archery with darts and whether you aim for the bull or not. You needed to know the layout of a dart board and an archery target to fully appreciate the metaphor but the point was well made.
So to the 60 second round.
Interesting information from Marcelle Saad. The Millennials are the principal purchasers of diamonds in the world. Who are the Millennials? Well apparently they are people born in the eighties and nineties; presumably identified by the wealth of diamonds that they will displaying about their person.
Our learning curve is stretched with Marcelle being followed by Mike Rogers. His simple advice was, if you are a higher tax band earner don’t bother to borrow under a mortgage for a buy to let portfolio.
Things to celebrate; Kevin Brooks is now a well established grandad. He turned up wearing a cardigan but did not have the carpet slippers. I think he is gradually working himself into the role. In the meantime he told of a customer who had the audacity to get as hanging toilet from someoneother than the proprietor of the House of Thrones. Needless to say it all went pear shaped and said hanging toilet has to be stripped out and new one purchased from Michael Adelizzi who had also previously addressed us upon a customer who was “over the moon” with the bathroom he fitted for her. The moral of all of this is…… use Michael Adelizzi.
Disturbing things that occurred in the 60 second round revolved around first of all Jo Jones. She talked about “setting short term health goals” to deal with the seasonal stuffing that we give ourselves at Christmas and then the slow road back to recovery. Her goal seems to be to “make your stomach shrink”. If her message made us feel uncomfortable the second message saw Brian Painter was up to his usual tricks. Have we seen a member of our family or close friend slowly dying. Of course it was about smoking, about fatty acids and the clogging of arteries. The risk of cancer was an afterthought. Definitely the sort of thing you should listen to after you have eaten your breakfast rather than whilst you are eating it. David Plumley was trying the scare us with regard to the performance of our PC’s and finished up with the ultimate oxymoron, “stopping the computer starting”
Howard Bullock talked about DIY Investors and the importance of getting them to see him and stop being DIY investors. His answer to the DIY investors problem is to move them onto a platform. His 60 second just proved how important it was that you concentrate for the whole 60 seconds.
We welcome back our returned member Kevin Radford, AKA The Bard of Hadleigh. He re-established himself in his Bardic role by rattling off a poem that sang the praises of RMK. The comforting thing about Mr Radford’s poetry is that it rhymes.This is not true for some lesser poets.
I feel moved to comfort Richard Reed who demonstrated all of the offers that he sent through to us, none of which had been taken up. Do not lose heard my EBF chum, just keep it coming. It at least lets us know what’s on offer and keeps you to the forefront of our mind for referrals that might not necessary include skiing. I did consider the skiing trip for my mother. It seems to tick most of the boxes, at least the boxes that I perceive.
Jill Willis gave us details of a typical referral. She seemed a little bit down. This is because of the absence of tweed. Dean Caldon maintained his tweedy look but others had deserted what appears to be a sinking ship. Jill puts it down to the warmer weather.
Now here is a challenge for you all. If you all could try and wear something of a tweed like nature for next week you will not only create a fashion statement but will make Jill happy.
It was Steve Roach who won the Oscar by making us all laugh. He apparently jumped into a car to be driven off to a meeting much to the surprise of the owner who had never seen or heard of our Steve. You have got to watch the Phoenix FM team.
A highly entertaining 60 second round was followed by a question and answer session in the absence of our 10 minute speaker. This enforced method of dealing with the 10 minute presentation is always successful and today was no exception. Plenty of questions and informative comments from the members being questioned. It all helps clarify what we have all got on offer.
We moved seamlessly into the referrals round. This week the numbers were exceptional. 27 referrals and in excess of £53,000.00 worth of recorded business. Needless to say Scott Griffiths was overjoyed. We have recorded over £80,000.00 worth of business so far this month with another 2 meetings to go. Well done everybody!!!
So with announcements ringing in our ears that included a reminder from Richard Reed of the Synergy Team Meeting at the George and Dragon at Mountnessing on Monday 21st November 2016 @4.30pm., we all headed off into the bright morning.
Let us keep our attendance up for next week.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 10th November 2016.
A great turnout, 24 members and one visitor, sometime member and soon to be returning member, Kevin Radford aka the Bard of Hadleigh.
This coupled with Tina Walker re-applying to join means we are likely to increase our number to 29 almost immediately with others in prospect.
With this cheerful thought I report that David Plumley kick started things off with the second part on his Ed Slot on attendance. He was redolent with quotations. He titled the talk itself as “the fruits of poor attendance” something of an oxymoron. There followed some rare quotes for our EBF dictionary of quotations. For example, “we all know what we mean by being regular” and my favourite “short termism is always evident”….. this with particular reference to people giving bad excuses for absence. The first but by no means the last euphemism of the meeting.
With his inspiration ringing in our ears we hit the 60 second round with a theme of Mr Trump following his victory of the previous day. Largely merely passing reference was made.
We were pleased to welcome Marcelle Saad back from her sojourn in South Africa. Apparently diamond prices have gone up because of the low pound and the fact they buy diamonds in dollars.
Alan Moller was offering lights with a two year guarantee.
Tears featured prominently in some of our members contributions. Michael Adelizzi, he of the House of Thrones, told of a lady whose bathroom he was fitting out who burst into tears of joy every time something new was added. He has at times performed as if he were a member of the School of Whimsy and in Nick Cooke’s absence he proved a worthy stand in. He did not however rise to the heights of the two whimsies present, namely Alan Shaw and Brian Painter.
Alan Shaw declared “every great tyrant has an architect” and Brian Painter told of a 28 year old lady whose phobia was BB. It transpired that this stood for Belly Button which she was afraid of looking at. All I can say is if she was able to look at her belly button she had a skill that most of us do not possess without the benefit of a mirror.
Jo Eastwood told of a beer tasting from the night before. She reeled off some unlikely names and said it all came from “Beavertown”. It sounds like somewhere in Alaska or a certain type of club rather than a brewery
Steve Roach, who was in attendance and still hung over, made positive reference to the stupendous goings on overnight. Nothing to do with Trump but the England cricket team’s performance of scoring 537 runs in their first innings in India. For those who suffer from insomnia, Test Match Special starts at 3.45am.
Talking of members working together, which we weren’t until the 60 second round, it was both interesting and encouraging to hear how Jill Willis, Matt Barry and Scott Griffiths had collaborated in dealing with a project for one client. It sounded like the ultimate referral.
If Michael Adelizzi and Brian Painter both had lady clients in tears, albeit for different reasons. Donna “Trumped” them all with a lady who for her 80th birthday was having new curtains fitted.
Reminiscences of her former husband had both of them in tears and Donna was subjected to the old lady’s match making with her son who, by Donna’s expression, was more than a rather grubby pimply youth.
An attempt to civilise the Naughty Table by the inclusion of Tina and Marcelle was unsuccessful because the main protagonists, Messrs Bullock, Caldon and Smallcombe were all present and huddled together as co-conspirators.
A very entertaining 60 second round. The highlight was Dean Caldon’s presentation telling of a lady whose house he was selling that had a faulty cesspit; the use of the word Trump becoming a euphemism for its contents. We were subjected to a virtuoso performance and Dean was the worthy winner.
We moved seamlessly to the 10 minute presentation. The first by Alan Heggie, it was very well presented and well timed. He showed us his wonderful car with photographs both inside and outside. He gave us details of his qualification which includes a security clearance that allows him to chauffer into both the House of Lords and to Windsor Castle. I think he said Windsor Castle. It could have been Windsor Great Park. I hope the monkeys didn’t pull off his wing mirrors. If they did however it would not have been a problem; the car comes complete with tissues if you get upset. A very good presentation which is deserving of a few referrals in the next week or so.
And so we came to the Referrals Round. Good numbers again. 24 referrals and over £21,000.00 worth of business recorded.
Jill Willis was positively revelatory about her taste in men, She declared how pleased she was , now that winter was here, to see men wearing Tweed Jackets. Now on the basis that part of the treatment process of said fabric is its immersion in urine I get the idea that she prefers the man who owes his body odour more to sweat and pipe smoke than “Armani pour homme”
It looks like it’s going to be a good month and if our numbers rise at the same time I look forward to many other entertaining meetings.
In particular I look forward to the one next week.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 3rd November 2016.
We welcomed back old friends. David Plumley fresh from his Chilean Experience and Howard Bullock refreshed from a flu ravaged family. Mike Rogers was back after a coup[le of weeks away sporting a pully which gave an impression that he was in his “wrapping up for the onset of Winter” mode. Whether or not absence makes the heart grow fonder, it certainly leads to a more cheerful Mike Rogers. There were only one or two slight flashes of possibly the realisation that he was not adopting his grumpy persona.
David Plumley was not only back, but back in charge of the Education Slot and he had obviously used his Chilean break to think about attendance. He was not talking about absence through sickness or holidays but “shear turn over in bed and let the alarm ring cussedness”. The upshot of what is the first of a “four parter” was that we should all expect regular attendance from our fellow members. It goes to the very heart of our referral based networking ethos.
In the absence of both Nick Cooke and Alan Shaw the School of Whimsy was severely depleted. Brian Painter did his best, telling of a man seeking his services who he described rather colourfully as looking like “a pox doctors clerk”. The most recent recruit Allan Moller did not help his school very much. He simply stated that he was now able to take on more work, although he did ask for an introduction to a 39 year old female thus linking with the mistress in the scenario created by his fellow schooler, our Pilgrim.
By contrast the Naughty Table was well represented. Michael Adelizzi, proprietor of the House of Thrones gave the impression that things were flying off the shelves and anywhere else that he had his bathroom fittings located. Even the mould spray apparently is “moving”, which creates slightly disturbing images in my mind. Dean Caldon warned of various changes in legislation that puts even greater burdens on landlords, including the fact that they must check the right of a tenant to rent. They are being turned into the xenophobic police. Howard Bullock warned of the life time allowance for pensions of one million pounds.
We were pleased to welcome into our ranks this week Nikhil Shah and he talked about a charity event that he was organising. Welcome to the group and the 60 second round Nikhil.
So what brightened up the 60 second round this week??? Terry Maylin had a client in Spain with a property in Liverpool and the expressed belief that everyone north of Watford was a rogue and a vagabond. Particularly those scouse barristers. Mike Rogers’ stylish jumper was a candidate but pride of place for colour and style had to go to Carmel Jane with her bright red wonder woman kit. Her explanation was that she had a tennis lesson immediately afterwards. No explanation need, Carmel, for bringing light into our lives.
What brought light into the Plums life this week, as the awarder of the Oscar, was the fact that Kim Redwood-Lee had started work at a client’s premises at 6 am in order to mitigate a shut down of their systems for a whole day. She was finished by 11 am. I think David Plumley awarded the Oscar to her for no other reason that he could not imagine anybody getting up that early unless they were coming to EBF.
So ended the 60 second round.
Whilst we are talking of Oscar like awards, Tina Walker produced the best apology for absence I have heard in a long time. Apparently someone parked a car across the drop kerb at the entrance to her house so she could not get her car out. They don’t get any better…
Scott Griffiths reported to the group on the Brentwood Business Showcase where the day before several of us manned our stand and had a very successful time getting business cards from prospective members…. watch this space.
The 10 minute presentation had Stuart Smallcombe producing a low tech approach to his subject but it finished up with a music quiz. Before he did so however there were one or two gems “multi-layer telephony” was the first, “a stupid sense of humour” and “the putting of square pegs into round holes”. The theme of his musical quiz was finally discovered by Dean half way through the answers…..telephones. It was highly entertaining as well as informative effort by Stuart. He is certainly a member you can refer with confidence. Let’s see if we can find some referrals for him in the coming week or so.
The referrals round produced 21 referrals and £17,500.00 worth of business acknowledged, a great start for the month.
I will end with a reminder. Next week at Reids Rooms in Billericay at 4.30pm is the Finance Synergy Team’s meeting. At that meeting we will be fixing details of the this Synergy Teams Christmas Party. Be there to take advantage of preferential rates.
Until next week…
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 27th November 2016.
19 in all including Nikhil Shah who is applying to join, this coupled, with Tina Walker’s request for an application form so that she can re-join the group, represents a good news day.
Brian Painter took charge of the Education Slot this week and looked at the “referral slip” and how to deal with it through the eyes of the recipient. A useful reminder of our obligations, to those members who do give us referrals, to deal promptly and efficiently with them.
Best wishes to Matt Barry who is under the surgeons knife for his knee, our best regards for a speedy recovery.
The 60 second round had a Halloween theme, which, despite Richard Reed’s admonitions when awarding the Oscar at the end of the round, produced some notable contributions.
Tina Walker had threatened to come round and see people on her broomstick in order to tidy up their paperwork. Alan Shaw rejected it as a festival because it was American but introduced it into his 60 without approving of it.
Scott Griffiths told of horror stories when websites are hacked. Mercifully we were spared Brian Painter’s oft told joke about “ghosts” and “ghoulies”. For those of you who cannot remember it, you don’t get grabbed by the “ghosts”….
Jill Willis told of a ghoulish marketing gaff and Paul Booth revealed that there was not the ghost of a dog in the Hermitage, it was just one of his beezer wheezes. Steve Roach gave us details of a Halloween event being sponsored by Phoenix FM and Jo Eastwood produced a Mexican Death Mask Vodka. The advantage with Jo’s props is that they are all alcoholic and as this was no exception and she was inline for the Oscar but it finally went to Steve Roach.
So much for the Halloween theme. Was there anything else of note? Well Nick Cooke told of huge bifold doors and huge beams. He wasn’t the only person bigging it up, Alan Heggie boasted a host of Qualifications, but none of them seem to enable him to make the car drive itself.
Richard Reed was telling us of “loads of offers” which included a sale of Sandals. A great deal for the Summer but not, I should think, at this time of year. A sobering but not ghoulish presentation was Terry Maylin’s. Make sure you know who you are dealing with when you agree to do a job for them. He gets sleepless nights about this; he shouldn’t but you should if you do not know who to sue when you are not being paid for what you have done.
So ended a very varied 60 second round.
Brian Painter was multitasking and was the 10 minute presenter. His 10 minutes was a little different from usual. He demonstrated how he actually deals with a client. Always ready to step into the breach, and this time sporting pink wig and tennis balls arranged under his shirt, was Paul Booth. His role was that of somebody who had a fear of flying. He did manfully (or was it womanfully) well to keep his voice high for most of the time. The pink wig and the slight bearded growth made him look like he was auditioning for an advertisement for extra strength kitchen towels. Brian explained the effect of adrenalin when your subconscious is trying to protect you. It apparently instils a fight or flight approach. In Paul’s case, a flight approach would have worked!!! The questions that followed included an enquiry from Stuart Smallcombe as to whether people dropped off to sleep when they were being hypnotised. Brian’s response was, effectively, is that he did not let them. He did not quite say how he achieved this; this was left to our imagination or perhaps our sub-conscious.
Following Brian’s presentation which was, as always, well received, there was a good referrals round and the meeting ended with a reminder about next Wednesday and EBF’s Exhibiting. Keep your eyes open for the emails from Scott and or Jill on this.
I hope to see as many of you as possible at the event next week.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 20th October 2016.
19 Members present and 1 visitor, Stephanie Sallows an Employment Coordinator.
As we all know David Plumley is in Chile. His organisation skills did not desert him however before he left and he had made full preparation for others to deal with the Education Slot in his absence.
This week it was Paul Booth and we were in for a treat!!! He told us all about uberisation and then proceeded to explain how easy it was. We were then further treated to a baffling check list of things to do in relation to hailing a taxi that would ultimately turn out to be cheaper and more efficient than yer average black cab. Basically his message was that things change and we should be able to change with them. Whether Uber itself will survive a court judgement as to whether it employs or doesn’t employ it’sdrivers remains to be seen. What I feel I can do in this Blog however is add to your understanding of uberisation. It has reached India. An uber-like smart phone app has been launched in India aiming at making it easier for farmers to hire tractors. Apparently hourly rental can be obtained for between 400 and 700 Rupees…..a fiver to you. You heard it here first!!
What of the 60 second round:
One theme was people being busy. Mike Rogers was busy, Michael Adelizzi was busy, Kim had been busy all week and Kevin Brooks had hoped not to be busy but had got another job in Walthamstow and already feels in the need of a holiday. Alan Moller was definitely busy with 20 jobs backed up. He came out with the revelation that he has a white board indoors, which caused me (perhaps unfairly) to enquire whether he was a nobo fetishist. He had to leave early, which was perhaps just as well, as the referrals round had him receiving at least 5 new referrals.
Donna Evans has been busy all week matching Poles. Whether she will be able to continue doing this post brexit remains to be seen.
Nick Cooke was absent but the School of Whimsy was well represented. Brian Painter, fresh from the black sands of Tenerife,painted a wonderful picture of himself in speedos sitting on a beach sipping a Pina Colada. What should come along but errant cigarette smoke from a lady several yards down the beach. He apparently could not see the smoke but he smelt it. 80% of cigarette smoke is apparently invisible. I am pleased to report however that he made it back safely. A contender for the School of Whimsy this week was Jo Jones because unusually she was selling a drum kit rather than any fitness aids. Alan Shaw, on the other hand apparently, had a week when everything was going well for him until 5 pm last night when he had a telephone call from a Planning Officer indicating that a scheme for one of his clients had been kicked out by the Environmental Agency. One of the things I found hard to believe about this scenario was that a Planning Officer was still in the office at 5pm to give him the telephone call.
The Naughty Table was subdued. This can normally be put down to the absence of Howard Bullock and today was no exception. Somehow the others just do not function (in a naughty way) without his presence.
This week was my chance to get back at everyone else, because I was awarding the Oscar. It was awarded without hesitation to Richard Reed who not only emphasised what he did but also the personal nature of his service as the reason why we should use him…that and the fact that he bombards us with holidays offers.
Brian Painter was standing in for David Plumley this week and introduced our 10 minute speaker, Terry Maylin. He produced a very precise and clear explanation of how TM Law can help clients who are either landlords or tenants in dealing with residential or commercial property. Some of the pit falls that he explained were not entirely legal, for instance the use of a Taser on a tenant by a landlord. It was certainly one stage up from the mugging that he tries to give any one on the other side that he is dealing with.
He was promptly followed by the referrals round which, given our relatively low numbers this week, was excellent. There were 24 referrals and in excess of £11,000 worth of business written.
There was a committee meeting after the meeting closed in relation to the exhibition on Wednesday 2nd November 2016 in which EBF are partaking. There are plans afoot that are being currently co-ordinated by Jill Willis and Scott Griffiths. Please look out for emails and deal with them promptly.
As always I look forward to next week’s meeting.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 14th October 2016.
Three holidays, two funerals and child duty counted at a stroke for 6 members being absent, but we managed to muster 19.
Education Slot was the fantasy of Kim Redwood-Lee. She performed this duly with the help of the 3 stooges Alan Shaw, Paul Booth and Terry Maylin. She recited the various stages arising from membership of EBF. Alan Shaw took one step forward illustrating each individual step in the journey of becoming a fully effective member of EBF. When Alan Shaw took his final step Paul Booth tried to fall over and Terry Maylin caught him. All of this was intended to illustrate your growth to true enlightenment in EBF and the establishment of the “circle of trust”. The casual reader of this Blog will probably by now be muttering to himself “…what the hell is he talking about…” If someone other than Kim can provide a concise and clear explanation please use the comments section below. For one horrible moment I though Kim was trying to enlist in the School of Whimsy.
It was with relief that we hit the 60 second round.
Our most quotable member, Jo Jones did not disappoint. She talked about “…body work..” and in speaking of her massage claimed “..it was like an MOT…”.
Mike Rogers sounded as if he was running a kindergarten. He talked of pre-first time buyers, catching them young and looking after them from cradle to grave. Presumably this is all in the comfort and convenience of their own home.
It was good to see Tina Walker coming back into the fold. At least I thought it was, but then she mentioned the C word, that it was 11 weeks away and I suddenly felt very gloomy.
Alan Shaw can always be relied upon to raise your spirits however. He is taking on the role of an anti-eco warrior. He has been battling with the environment agency on behalf of a client. Our super hero deserved a good enquiry this week, apparently someone up in the clouds heard his 60 second rendition last week and that he was looking for churches. He got the next best thing, a place of worship. Apparently an enquiry about a new mosque.
He was relevantly followed by Richard Reed who amongst other things was offering his India Tour…plenty of mosque’s out there!!
Scott Griffiths was rather esoteric this week. Advising a client who sold e liquids. He apparently set him straight and awarded him puff points. These are not places where you stop for a rest if you have been exercising. If anybody wishes to enlighten me the comments box is below.
Donna Evans was like the old lady who lived in a shoe. She visited a house with so many windows she did not know what to do.
Allan Moller managed by contrast to produce a limerick about the lady from Ealing. Everybody was relieved that it did not go on to refer to a ceiling.
Talking of limericks, somewhat unusually Steve Roach was good enough to award the Oscar to me. I had been at a loose end on Wednesday afternoon and managed to include Wills, Leases and Lasting Powers of Attorney in successive limericks. A fourth glorified TM Law and all without a rude word. Surely a record of some sort.
All in all a good 60 second round that was followed by an even better 10 minute presentation. Jo Eastwood’s approach was everything a 60 second or 10 minute presentation should be. It challenged us to find her referrals, particularly external ones and it told us exactly what her products were so that we could find these. I would have this opinion of her presentation whether or not she had provided me, along with the other members, with a taster of white port.
When I arrived at the meeting it was raining, as we drew to a close with the referrals and testimonial rounds the sun got out.
Let’s try for a really good turn out next week and I hope to see you all then.
Chairman’s Business Networking Blog, Thursday 6th October 2016.
Another well attended and vibrant meeting. There were 21 members present and 2 guests; Nikhil Shah, a Dentist and Lewis Ward for the second time whose business is car leasing.
Tina Walker also showed her face at the beginning of the meeting and is threatening to come back next week.
All good meetings need good start. David Plumley obliged, producing an Ed Slot setting out “10 secrets” as to how you could waste your time at EBF. His delivery started out ironic and finished up sarcastic but it got the message over… that we need to turn up and pay attention when we are here.
Scott Griffiths was on a secret mission which was unfortunately unsuccessful; he returned and took the opportunity to infiltrate the Naughty Table instead. Terry Maylin stood in for him above the salt. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The Naughty Table was accordingly depleted by the absence of Stuart Smallcombe who had been forced off the table and was obliged to sit on the next door table. He sort of sat sideways on and tried to infiltrate the Naughty Table. It was all very confusing…
You can normally rely on the School of Whimsy to provide a backdrop to the 60 second round that keeps you confused. This week Brian Painter of course was absent and the spotlight accordingly fell on Alan Shaw and Nick Cooke. Nick Cooke, rather boringly, had been involved with a residents committee meeting so there wasn’t much to be had from him; Alan Shaw on the other hand was a little more useful. An old client from years back had premises in Harwich and wanted some sort of conversion plans doing. That was pretty straight forward but everything from there started turning whimsical. He had been to a lecture at Anglia University on the fabric and structure of Churches and indeed Canterbury Cathedral. It sort of went on until after two minutes he sat down in confusion (for us, not him). Unfortunately at the moment there is not much call for the building of churches but………
What did emerge from the meeting however is a new candidate to join the Whimsies, namely the electric Mr Alan Moller. In his 60 seconds he talked about break ins and lights that will scare off burglars. Innocuous you might say but his claim to association with the Whimsies was really made in his 10 minute presentation. It is not normal that I mix up the 10 minutes presentation with the 60 second round but it is important for future Blogs what we get this straight. His 10 minute presentation spent a couple of minutes giving something of his background and how he got to where he is. He then turned to technology and having managed to plug in his laptop we were regaled with photographs from his holiday. We were given an insight into his summer motor bike journey round Europe. He managed such feats as parking his motor cycle in a hotel’s reception (“there was only a little bit of oil, from the chain, which I mopped up with a cloth”), he managed a spot of dogging whilst parking in what he thought was a secluded area and gave us the sort of guide that is very helpful to people like Richard Reed. Indeed it should have been a presentation by Richard Reed. I think we can all, after this 10 minute presentation, well and truly welcome Alan to the School of Whimsy…congratulations Al.
Right! Back to the 60 second round!
Donna was striking in her sun tan, Jo Jones was striking once again in being eminently quotable. Examples included “..we all love a prop..” and even better “..it’s not just about shakes..”
Dean Caldon not only was able to boast 12 sales on his books but also that he has a new apprentice. Apparently he is called “Jack”, we wish him well but must hope that under Dean’s tutelage he is able to avoid large men and climbing vegetables.
I happened to mention in my 60 seconds that I was happy doing the work that I do. This prompted Michael Adelizzi to confirm that he is also happy when people come in to his shop. Michael frequently describes his emporium and how it displays both bathroom and kitchenware; my own abiding impression, because I bought two from him, was that he has a very good line in king sized loos. I think we can safely christen these premises “the House of Thrones”.
David Plumley tried to frighten us. He spoke of disasters with regard to computers which apparently “ran somewhere”. It took me a little while to realise he was not alluding to the recent triumph of the British at the Olympics. It was only when he started talking about backups that I realised my mistake, “ransom ware”, of course.
Terry Maylin talked of a lady from Cobham. My challenge to you all is, in commenting on this Blog, that you produce a limerick that starts “There once was a lady from Cobham…”. The winner, to be judged by Terry Maylin, might receive a prize but it really won’t be worth anything other than the honour.
Jo Eastwood was flogging beers this week. One that gloried under the name of “Bloody Notorious” was 4.79% strength. She also has gluten free beer. Gluten free beer? I’ve seen the future!!
Whatever next, well, a realisation that Jo Eastwood was also awarding the Oscar and she awarded it to none other than Steve Roach. He gave us good news about his radio station but also that he had been photographed with a chicken. Apparently a new outlet of Nandos was advertising through the station and in order to qualify for a free meal he had to stand next to and be photographed with a chicken. Let’s hope they do not take on Anne Summers otherwise he might have to have his photograph taken with……here’s the second challenge for you in commenting on this Blog. Who or what might he be asked to be photographed with in such an instance?
Any further commentary on the 60 second round would be merely self-indulgent. So I will move on to other good news. The referrals and testimonials round revealed around £20,500.00 worth of business recorded and referrals hitting the 30 mark.
Another good effort by everybody and an excellent turnout, let’s hope we can repeat it again next week.
Business Networking Meeting review, 29th Sept 2016
by Jill Willis
This week’s Essex Business Forum meeting was a not the busiest on record, but with 20 members in attendance it still packed a punch.
Howard Bullock of Clear Financial Advice (standing in for Aidan Squire of Quality HR) chaired confidently. Guiding us all through the proceedings.
Headlines to take away and savour include;
- Paul Booth, of Booth & Co Chartered and Certified Accountants, is back on a winning streak. Taking first place again this week in the performance league.
- Scott Griffiths of Eseyo Web Design came in second, with Kim Redwood-Lee of Redwood Clarke Bookkeeping Services in third.
- Jo Eastwood of Liquorice independent wine merchant, scooped the 60 second award – for her description of a recent commemorative trip to the battle fields of The Somme. She remembered her grandfather Tom, and shared a wonderful local wine ‘Dopft’ from Northern France.
- This month we have so far passed £76,600 of new business – well ahead of the monthly average!
- Visitor Lewis Ward, of Best Car Finder vehicle leasing joined us, and showcased his expertise. We hope to welcome him back next week.
- Halloween theme! Thursday 27th October will be Halloween week. So think of spooky 60 second ideas, and maybe even dress up (Paul).
The Education Slot was presented by Jill Willis, of Words By Jill. She talked about productivity…and the key to success. Do less, and get more done. These are the top 5 pointers courtesy of author Shaa Wasmund and her book Do Less, Get More:
One: Understand your rhythms. If you are at your most creative between 8am and 10am then don’t check mundane emails during this time! Take time to understand what works for you.
Two: Batch tasks. Consider having a ‘meeting’ day, a ‘research’ day, an ‘admin’ day.
Three: Escape the ‘when…then…’ trap. You’ll never be 100% ready to begin a project, so stop chasing perfection and get started.
Four: Filter your talents. If you chase two rabbits, one is bound to escape. So pick one goal and dedicate all resources to making it happen.
Five: Schedule. Identify the actions you need to take, and pin point the help you’ll need from others. Breaking things down into simple steps means you’ll be less likely to flounder.
The 60 second round had some interesting topics this week. Marcelle Saad of Marcelle Saad Diamonds turned her attention to pearls. Giving a wonderful description of the creative settings, and bespoke design services she offers to her clients.
Dean Caldon of Grace & Rose showed that the property market continues to perform with new instructions for a 3-bedroom house in Brentwood, and x2 4-bedroom homes in Billericay.
Stuart Smallcombe of LG Networks gave us an insight into high speed voice and data networks…but not as you might first expect. His 60 seconds focused on a last-minute project completed for a client who had to move offices the next day! It was achieved of course, and Stuart reminded us that he is always available to help clients who are relocating offices (just perhaps not that quickly every time).
Richard Reed of Prestige Holidays and Travel took bespoke holiday planning to a new level. He made us chuckle with his tale of a brief he worked on recently for a client. So specific were the requirements that even the colour of the hire car had been specified; red.
We all said hearty congratulations to Steve Roach, and the team at Phoenix FM. The West Ham Way sports podcast has been nominated for a national award, alongside Five Live and Talk Sport. Not bad for our local Brentwood radio station! He reminded us all that the station actively supports local charities too, and asked that we mention him to charity fundraisers who may be looking for new ways to garner support and raise awareness of their cause within the local community.
Finally, Scott Griffiths, of ESEYO web design and hosting, gave an outstanding 10-minute presentation, helping us to navigate the minefield of web site build. Leaving us in no doubt. We shouldn’t use a cowboy web designer (even though they may be a little cheaper). There’s the shortcut way and then there’s the ESEYO way. We know which we’d all prefer.
From premium WordPress framework design, to premium hosting, optimised content, mobile & tablet friendly design and easy to use reporting tools. His service, as so many members vouched, is the best around by a mile.
For more information on the services Scott provides, contact 01277 849443 or visit www.eseyo.com
Next Week – If your business is taking part in the Phoenix FM advertising campaign remember to pass on a referral slip to Steve. Plus, bring your diaries, and we’ll try to ear-mark a date for the Christmas get together.
See you next week!
Jill (in for Aidan)